Young people are sometimes surprised to find out that sex doesn’t stop at 40, or 50, or 60, or beyond!
I have personally enjoyed older and much older lovers, both men and women. Statistics vary from study to study, but it’s safe to assume a majority of people remain sexually active on occasion, through middle age, old age, even through illness, and until end of life.
Older lovers may enjoy sex with folks their age, but many also date open minded or adventurous younger lovers. Many older adults are engaging in casual relationships, preferring open or multiple relationships after a beloved long-term spouse passes away or becomes ill.
Sex is an important part of health and intimacy through all of life’s stages. If you are a senior lover, or a younger person dating someone older, here are some ways to enjoy the ride.
Still looking for an older sex partner? Read:
5 Sex Tips for Older Adults
1. Take Your Time
When you’re 22, your dick is hard whether you are at work putting together a PowerPoint presentation or looking for snow tires. At 75, it can take a lot longer to get excited but that just means a lot more time to enjoy.
Think of sex as being a place of sensuality and conversation—long sessions and deep talks in bed while touching without racing to a finish line.
2. Forget about Goal-Oriented Sex
Open-ended sex is key. Orgasm remains possible and desired for some into the 80s and even 90s, but getting off quickly or three times a day is not realistic.
Preserve energy by taking the focus off the orgasm.
3. Accept Your Body As Is
Those who have convinced themselves that only young or perfect bodies have sexual value rob themselves of life’s greatest gifts. Folks who gracefully accept the realities of gravity and aging and who live in their bodies fully will continue to accept and give pleasure through all of life’s stages.
4. Use Your Imagination
Imagination and creativity mean amazing sex for anyone, but they become especially useful if one or more lovers is older. The world of kink offers an endless bounty of ways to experience pleasure, many that aren’t focused on the wham bam of it.
Sensation play gives priority to imagining ways to expand sensual touch. Using pornography and sex toys can help, too. A dildo can take the pressure off a man with a softer erection. Lube can make things more comfortable for her.
5. Use Aids to Make Sex Comfortable
Differently abled or older sex partners may not have the same range of acrobatic sex positions that twentysomethings do, but making use of swings, stability balls, countertops, and chairs can change all that.
Standing positions work wonders not just for athletes, but for folks with arthritis. Using tables of different heights can steady her, or balance a leg. A sturdy chair can make straddling positions very comfortable.
A few cushions propped can make knees bend more comfortably, or a balance ball to support her in doggy position. A swing can also support someone and make them more mobile. Don’t hesitate to use supports.
Are you older and still burning up with love? Tell us your older sex tips!