Want to find a sugar mama? Let’s take a look at the nuances of sugar mama relationships, and how you can find a doting wealthy woman of your own.
Sugar Mamas: A New Twist
A longstanding classic in dating “arrangements” is the wealthy man who gets a bit of arm candy by spoiling a young and beautiful woman. Once upon a time it was just called “having a mistress” when a married or otherwise attached man also had another woman. Sometimes the “extra” woman was called a “kept woman” because a man “kept” her with rent or other financial needs. Many college students date older, wealthy men to help pay for their studies or other interests.
There were many variations in the relationships, from true love to “an understanding” to just sex. But basically, the woman sought a male with financial power and the man supported or spoiled her.
What Is a Sugar Mama?
The opposite arrangement of a rich woman and her boy toy existed, but was rare. For one thing, few women had wealth and power or freedom to sleep with partners of their own choosing in history. So a very rich queen, perhaps, could have been a sugar mama, but it wasn’t very common. In that sense, the idea of the sugar mama instead of the sugar daddy is much newer.
That said, it might be newer, but the concept is exploding. Sugar mamas in the past few decades have often been lumped in with cougars, older women who enjoy casual sex or dating young men. Of course there is some overlap, because some cougars are wealthy and powerful and willing to spoil their dates.
The Difference between Cougars and Sugar Mamas
The word cougar implies a kind of predatorial stance, however, which is hardly fair—older women with a big sexual appetite are not predators. Cougar also implies a lean, stunning animal, and not every older woman and younger man combination is about pure physicality. Finally, not all cougars are wealthy or “need” or want to pay for sex.
Transitioning into present day, when the taboo on female sexual desire is lifting, as well as other taboos, such as who pays and being paid for sex, we see more and more of the role reversal where women are seeking arm candy and hot sex while willing to indulge their boy toy or support him.
Guys everywhere are thinking, wow, I get to hook up with a hot, confident, sexy woman, AND she pays for everything? Sign me up! But how does a guy go about finding a sugar mama or rich woman?
6 Tips to Find a Sugar Mama
1. Know what it takes.
I won’t sugar coat this: most male sugar babies are young and ridiculously good looking—fit, virile, and well hung. But not all.
The most important traits, besides being reasonably attractive, are confidence, a willingness to pay attention and spend time, and yes, you guessed it, a sense of humor.
Charismatic, magnetic personalities span a range of looks. You might look like a gym bunny or a gangster, a chemist or a comedian—women have different tastes in what traits makes a guy hot. But if you aren’t magnetic and fun to be around, forget it.
2. Understand the psychology of sugar mamas, and fulfill it.
The best way to find a sugar mama is to be able to give the sugar mama what she needs and wants.
If she is a wealthy woman, she can pay anyone, and there are lots lining up. Maybe she isn’t wealthy but still wants to pay the way—pay for play.
So what is it that the sugar mama wants?
We can look to the more classic model of sugar daddy and see that he wants sex, youth, and beauty because it makes him feel generous, important, and lets him show off.
Does this translate? Yes, somewhat. A sugar mama wants sex from a beautiful boy toy, she wants attention, she wants a good time, she wants to show you off. It might play out a bit differently from sugar daddy and his pretty young thing. But what she is pursuing is the same—power.
The sugar mama wants power. If you are willing to give her power, you’ll find her.
3. Set up your profile to make her feel powerful.
Show her your worth and potential, and ask her to invest in its development.
Here’s one I read that might work.
“I’m a hardworking guy juggling two jobs and night school. I need a woman I can trust and adore who can show me the ropes in life—and in bed. I have a high sex drive, and I’m willing to learn exactly how to please you.”
In other words, don’t be TOO cocky and overconfident. You want to show a little vulnerability to fulfill her need to give, but let her know your potential.
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4. Remember, sex is key in sugar mama relationships.
It may seem obvious, but the other thing she wants is sex. Don’t forget that sex is the whole point. You can’t expect her meet your needs if you can’t meet hers.
5. Ask and you shall receive.
If no one knows you are looking for a little sugar, you might keep running into women who hope you’ll pay for dinner. Set up your online dating profile to ask for what you want.
Don’t worry about scaring women off. A woman who is interested in finding a sugar mama arrangement will be happy to discover a guy who gets it.
6. Use sugar mama, cougar, and mainstream dating sites.
Your best bet is to join a variety of dating sites. Don’t ignore the regular sites, as they tend to have enormous traffic, and it takes all kinds. But also look for your rich woman on niche dating sites, and sites geared to younger men, older women, and kink, because for some, paying for you is a kink, or looking for a younger man is a kink. The more places you can be discovered, the better.
Read: Best Casual Hookup Sites
Are you looking for a sugar mama? Share your experience in the comments!