Women and Porn
I’ve known, dated, and had sex with enough women (not a boast, just a fact) to know there are many—many!—of them who love porn. Many is not most. And of those who do, most are not into the same kind of raunchy shite us guys love to watch. Is there common ground? Rarely. And it can often be a point of both contention and frustration.
I happen to love it when a woman is into raunchy porn. Even better is a woman who loves to watch raunchy porn with me. I haven’t met enough of them. Some like raunchy porn but are only comfortable watching it alone, most prefer not to lay eyes on it at all. Softcore usually tops the charts for women; those who bother to watch any porn.
Here’s where things get icky. For some reason, there are guys who think women simply need to warm up to porn, that they’ll come to like it. N-no. Don’t force porn on a woman who isn’t interested. Sexually, there’s a long list of things that some people (men and women alike), simply aren’t interested in—many considered to be pretty basic stuff. Some folks just don’t do oral. Others aren’t interested in anal. Whatever it is, we all have our thing. Why can’t one of them be porn?
If we meet someone, and want to continue a relationship with them, but soon find out they have a sexual turn-off that frustrates you and/or the relationship (one partner won’t do oral, etc.), there are only two choices: you go your separate ways before you end up with separate bedrooms, or you learn to deal with/ignore it. Fortunately such a dilemma of incompatibility can be stayed when facing a porn squabble.
First, the great thing about porn is that it’s tailor-made for flying solo. So why not keep it that way? Watch your own kind of porn on your own time. There’s an ancient wisdom that we should sometimes do things we don’t like to do simply for the sake of someone we care about (“I hate oral sex, but I’ll put up with it because he/she wants it”, kinda thing). Such ancient wisdom does not apply to porn. Think about it: If you agree to watch your partner’s choice of porn, especially during sex, you run the risk of being put off by the thought of, “THAT’S what he/she is thinking about when he/she is fucking me?! OMG!” Tricky territory, indeed.
If your tastes in porn are so far apart, best to keep them to yourselves. Believe it or not, your partner might not be turned on by the idea of getting gangbanged in the ass by twenty guys.
Or maybe she might. If not, don’t be a porn bully: not everyone’s threshold of fantasy will be as high as yours.
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