Ladies and Gents, it’s time to give Nature’s Gift of Pleasure and (let’s be honest, here) Relief the respect it’s due.
I’m talking about The Almighty Handjob—and it always seems to get an undeserved bad rap:
– It’s nothing more than foreplay.
– It’s only for masturbation.
– It doesn’t allow for an intense enough orgasm.
– It’s boring.
Where have you people been?! Why not just dismiss other all-natural heavenly pleasures, too, like sunshine and starlight and goddammit you might as well take strawberries off your list while you’re at it.
Here’s what you’re missing:
– It’s a way to covertly have sex anywhere, making it a highly-charged sex thrill.
– Handjobs may well be mostly considered foreplay, but if you love foreplay, it’s the most effective way of extending it.
– A handjob (for both men and women) offers the potential for more nuance of technique than any other form of sexual contact. (Don’t believe me? Then you’ve never had or given a good one—but that’ll have to wait for another blog post…)
– It’s a safe way to have awesome sex.
– “…only for masturbation”?!?! “…only…”?!?! What’s so ONLY about masturbation?!?!
Here’s my challenge to you:
The next time you’re doing the nasty, make a pact with your partner to have a hands-on-only session. Direct each other on exactly what it is your cock/pussy wants, NO DEVIATING FROM THE INSTRUCTIONS GIVEN BY YOUR PARTNER! And partners must be honest. Demand what it is your “bits” are screaming for. Being shy, or worrying that your partner might find you strange will do nothing to ensure you a better orgasm.
Because here’s what I reallyreallyreally believe:
Most people just take the meager handjobs they’re given—NOT the handjobs they reallyreallyreally deserve.
Wank on, soldiers!
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