Hookup Help: Dating an Introvert

Q: Dear Jenny. I’m a fun-loving, out-going guy who loves to be around people. If I get asked to go out with friends, I never say no. I find that I get bored at home. I’ve lived on my own for about a year, and even though I can afford it, I’m thinking of getting a house with some friends, just for the company. My last girlfriend was very opposite to this part of my personality. She called herself a homebody and only wanted to go out half as much as I did. This created a lot of arguments and became the main reason we split. She said I didn’t understand her and that I should only date other extroverts. The thing is I usually go for the shy quiet types. Can an introvert and an extrovert be a good combination, in a lasting relationship? -Brett

A: Dear Brett. Well… you do sound like the classic extrovert. I’ve always been fascinated by different personality types and how they affect our dating choices and compatibility. The main difference between extroverts and introverts is where they get their energy. The former needs to be around others while the latter needs time alone to refuel. People often confuse shyness with introversion. For example, I am not shy, but I do like to spend a lot of time alone because I am an introvert and I find being around others can be exhausting. I was dating an extrovert a few years ago, and he wanted me to go out almost every night. When I had to stand firm and refuse, he would pout and sulk… not fun!

I think these two opposites can and do get into relationships, but it takes a little more understanding and respect of their different needs. An extrovert can’t expect his/her partner to want or need to be on the go all the time. This will also take an extrovert with confidence, someone who can go it alone and have their own interests (both healthy in any relationship). And in return, the introvert musn’t expect their partner to want to stay in and be trusting of their high sociability

So, with any successful relationship, it’s a matter of getting to know, understanding, and respecting a partner’s personality and subsequent needs. If both individuals are willing, opposites can not only attract, but also last. I’d keep you’re own place because women like to date men without the roommate factor. Happy dating trails, Brett!

How much do you think personality type matters in relationships?

Read more on this subject: Tips for Dating an Introvert

Hookup Help is a Q & A series. If you want advice or a female’s perspective on hooking up, online dating, relationships, or sex… we want to hear from you. SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE, and who knows, you may appear in the next Hookupland newsletter. -xo Jenny

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