Q: Dear Holly. My new girlfriend of six months is incredibly loud when we fuck. She makes a lot of oohing and ahhing, and mmming sounds which aren’t too crazy, but when she orgasms, it’s a horror-movie screaming sound.
I’ve been with loud women before, but this is another level. I made a remark to her in the beginning of our relationship to which she said, “Ya, I know I can be loud,” then laughed about it.
I only see her about once a week because we live in different states, so I can almost forget how loud it is… until the next time. Last time my next-door neighbor made a remark while we drank beer in the backyard. To be honest, I think he kind of enjoyed hearing her—me, not so much.
What, if anything, can I say to her to turn down the volume. Or should I just suck it up. The actual sex is good, but I can’t help but wonder if she’s faking or just being loud for my benefit. – Dave
A: Hi Dave. If you wrote to a man for advice on this particular problem, he’d probably tell you to go fuck yourself if you can’t handle a woman screaming in pleasure. But, maybe not.
I agree that there’s such a thing as too loud. I’ve heard loud women who seem over the top. Some people, like your neighbor will enjoy hearing a woman in ecstasy, while others like yourself may not want to share so much of their sex life with strangers.
Do all women fake orgasm? No. Do many women enhance their response and enjoyment? Yes, but in varying degrees. I never think it’s a good idea to ask a woman about faking. If you’re with someone long enough, you’ll know what’s up… or down… or sideways. You’ll also know what you can live with and what you can’t.
Asking a woman about faking orgasm it isn’t much better than asking a woman to turn down the volume. I wouldn’t consider myself that loud and will be cognizant of the volume, especially if I know my neighbors are home, but there are times when I feel like I can’t control what comes out of my mouth when I’m having a super intense orgasm.
Just as some men learn their sexual behaviors from porn, some women also imitate what they see. If her screams and cries sound too much like the videos you watch while masturbating, try watching something together and gauge her reaction with a casual comment.
If you see a long-term relationship with this woman, proceed with caution, knowing that you may offend, embarrass, or anger her and spoil the possibilities.
Having a girlfriend who sc
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