Hookup Help

Hookup Help: Finding No-Strings-Attached Sex

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Q: I am trying to find an NSA-sex partner as I am sexually frustrated at present. I have been to several sites but don’t have a credit card to register, and the free sites don’t seem to be populated very much. Can you recommend a way I can meet ladies for sex that doesn’t need a credit card or payment for that matter? And how can I improve my chances of finding someone? -David

A: Hi David. I understand your plight. I’ve never had a credit card myself, so more sex-orientated dating sites have not been available to me, past the browsing stage. You still have options for finding no-strings sex: free dating sites, bars and clubs, or through recreational activities.

I’ve used OKCupid and Plenty of Fish, both free, and both are heavily populated with singles. The catch is: most women probably aren’t on there looking for one night stands or a friend-with-benefits, BUT… it can just happen. Sometimes if I know a first date isn’t going to turn into something serious, I might still be attracted and up for a little casual sex.

If you decide to go this route, you still have to join, spend the time writing a great profile, and start sending out messages. You can put in your profile that you’re only looking for casual connections, which will cut to the chase. Even if you are just in it for the sex, don’t send creepy “Wanna Fuck?” messages. I’ve had hot guys send these, and I’d think, if they’d only sent a message with a little charm, I would have been interested in hooking up.

Bars and clubs are still great for finding casual sex. If you’re above fifty or you don’t drink, it may not be as easy. Because the free dating sites may take longer to find NSA sex, these places are more likely where you’ll scratch your itch. Single ladies do go to bars, and there are even cougar bars that are an option if you’re a younger man. Clubs are usually packed with groups of women, which makes it a little harder to pick up, but if you know how to dance, that’s a bonus.

Apart from these options, to increase your chances of meeting women, put yourself out there, and by there, I mean everywhere… take classes, join a gym, volunteer, hang at the library. Some guys sit at home, wondering why they never meet anyone. Thing is, you never know where you might meet the next great lay of your life!

Quick sexual gratification is always easier to find on sex-driven hookup sites that require paid memberships. The price of these memberships can work out to be less per month than it might cost you one night in a bar. But if you don’t have a credit card, don’t lose hope… you’ll just have to put a little more effort in. And remember: there are plenty of women out there seeking the same no-strings relationship you are.

Guys: Where do you look for women for casual sex?

Hookup Help is a Q & A series. If you want advice or a female’s perspective on hooking up, online dating, relationships, or sex… we want to hear from you. SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE, and who knows, you may appear in the next Hookupland newsletter. -xo Jenny

Tell us what you think! 9 Comments

  1. billy

    October 17, 2014 at 9:33 pm

    I’m just looking for a girl that wants to chill for one night that’s all.

  2. Alex Sandstone

    December 8, 2014 at 1:46 am

    I would like to know where I can find Hookup sites to join that are “actually” free and don’t require a credit card to join. I’ve tried those FreeLifetime membership sites, and they seem pretty bogus. There are many of the same girls on many different FreeLietime sites, and I don’t think they are ‘Real”

    • Lola Page

      Lola Page

      December 10, 2014 at 3:03 pm

      Hi Alex,

      I know the “FreeLifeTime” sites you are talking about, and yes, they ARE bogus. For sites that have REAL members and will actually get you dates, try the sites listed on our casual dating page. They have other payment methods besides credit card. However, if you need a completely free option then you are limited to more general dating sites such as PlentyofFish and OKcupid. Unfortunately most hookup sites aren’t free but the cost is less than a single night out trying to pick up at the bar. That’s how I rationalize it to myself anyway. 😉

  3. kinkupa

    April 8, 2015 at 5:35 am

    I am single and humble looking for a nice nauty girl….

  4. t.j

    May 31, 2015 at 12:12 am

    Just wanna make a woman cum with my nine inch dick n warm tongue.

    • Heather G

      August 4, 2018 at 4:24 pm

      I’m looking for some casual sex, no strings attached, no relationship.

  5. Susan

    June 19, 2015 at 4:01 pm

    My name is Susan. I’m single. Never married. No kids. New on this site. I am searching for someone who shares the following qualities with me: thoughtful, loving, goal-oriented, along with sense of humor. I love to laugh and smile. I also love to read, cook, and travel. My interests are many. I am honest, intelligent, and seeking an honest man I can share laughter, jokes, fun, love, and understanding with. I am also looking for a romantic man who can make me feel. I’m open minded, straight forward, and down to earth.

    • Jenny


      June 23, 2015 at 3:04 pm

      Hi Susan. Thanks for sharing what you are looking for. This blog is not a dating site, and we don’t publish personal information such as emails. Please check out AffairLink.com to meet the kind of man you are seeking. Best of luck, Susan!

  6. Timothy gaudet

    April 6, 2018 at 7:27 am

    Anyone in their late forties?

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