In theory, a friends-with-benefits (FWB) relationship is not just a beautiful thing, it’s an easy thing: two open-minded people who enjoy each other’s company but don’t insist on commitment, spending as much time together as they like… and let’s not forget having no-strings-attached sex as often as they like.
If only it were that simple! Actually, it can be that simple, if you follow these Four Rules for Maintaining a Successful Friends-with-Benefits Relationship:
Rule 1: Respect her time and treat it as though it’s as important as your own. Don’t treat your special friend like a booty call who is supposed to come running when you call, then go running once you’ve cum. She is supposed to be your “friend” with benefits, after all, so if she wants to chill a bit on top of hooking up, accommodate that desire. This approach can be taken too far, though; see Rule 2 for more on that.
Rule 2: Don’t be a human doormat for the pussy. Yes, you want to respect your fuck buddy’s time as covered in Rule 1, but if you aren’t careful about over-catering to your special friend’s whims, she might exploit that (hey, she’s human) and start to become something awfully close to a “girlfriend,” which sort of defeats the purpose of the whole FWB thing in the first place. You can’t be desperate to fuck your special friend, that’s too much imbalance of power, and it will quickly mess up the relationship.
Rule 3: Remember that good FWBs are hard to find. It’s just a plain, sad fact that many women (and men) are not good candidates to have a friends-with-benefits relationship. Some are too possessive for it to work, others are too needy, and some will start out fine, but soon feel the urge to “settle down.”
Rule 4: As they say in basketball, “let the game come to you.” Not to sound like a hippie, but a lot of solid FWB relationships develop naturally between men and women who are already friends. This natural evolution provides a solid foundation that will help when discussing terms of your arrangement. In other words, don’t go rushing things if you expect your FWB relationship to last more than a lay or two.
Have any rules for FWB relationships to share? Let us know in the comments…