Ever wonder why a woman is so turned on when you first make love to her, but later prefers housework or going to the gym over sex?
Miss the days when you were dizzy from kissing and her copping a feel of your hard-on, even though you’d never yet seen a woman naked in real life?
Ever wonder why some couples you know are still glowing while others are bickering or cold?
There are lots of causes and influences on fluctuating desire, but a really important aspect of sex that we often lose sight of in long-term relationship—or in hasty casual encounters—is kissing.
For a one night stand, we might not take the time to make out. And when we are familiar with a long-term lover, we can take physical intimacy for granted and forget about kissing.
Some men are understandably overeager to free their cock from the confines of their trousers, but find out why focusing on kissing first makes everything better.
3 Reasons Why Kissing Leads to Better Sex
1. Kissing Is Evolutionary Communication
It’s long been understood that kissing makes it or breaks it for whether sex will follow. A woman will say “there just wasn’t any chemistry” or report “his lips set me on fire.”
Both parties might conclude with disappointment that kissing felt like you were siblings, not potential fuck mates. That’s because, at a level that has nothing to do with being horny or seeing each other as hot—kissing communicates vital information about your potential partner.
There’s no need to take it personally when she pulls away, because you felt more like a slug than a lover. It has nothing to do with technique, and everything to do with the body’s codes.
There are millions of messages we are not conscious of transmitting. Just one is the markers for the major histocompatibility complex (MHC). This has to do with the immune system diversity between you and its impact on the potential resulting baby.
2. Saliva Swapping Prompts Sexual Arousal
It’s not just about how great it feels to touch your lips. There are many reasons your kisses make her quiver. Even if your technique is off, mechanical or clumsy, women report bad kissing with someone they’re hot for is way better than no kissing. That’s because your saliva fills with testosterone, stimulating you to want her desperately. And that testosterone is absorbed by her and raises the pitch of her arousal.
3. Feeling Closer Feels Good
There are also chemicals in saliva that stimulate and transmit oxytocin and dopamine production. Oxytocin is a bonding hormone. It’s very prevalent in both mother and baby when she’s nursing, and also between pets and their owners—the reason why physical contact with a dog or cat is so pleasurable and important.
Dopamine is central to the brain’s reward signalling—when something is extremely pleasurable, we get hits of it. Kissing stimulates dopamine production, leading to increased desire, decreased depression, and a healthier immune system.
So whether you just enjoy casual sex or want to reignite a long-term relationship, pucker up and give kissing a starring role in your love life!
What part does kissing play in your hookups or current relationship?