Perhaps there is no conversation so controversial as one about sex work. Some look down on the people who hire sex workers for their services, but more look down on the sex worker.
Some will take a narrow view and see sex workers as desperate, abused, and addicted with no choice, while others will acknowledge them as autonomous adults who have chosen their work and maybe even enjoy it.
These are complex issues, and sometimes I am asked my thoughts on the subject. I take a very positive view of sex work, and a positive view of men who legally or fairly buy sex services.
What to Know before You Hire a Sex Worker
Men need sex, and it’s a human right.
I believe that for all adult men and women who want sex, it is a human right. Most of us are sexual beings—it’s our nature.
It’s not always possible to find a willing partner. A sex worker has decided in advance to offer the fulfillment of that need to whoever she agrees to see.
Consent is sexy, and the it’s the foundation of fair sex work.
Sex work transactions might be the ultimate in equality, not the opposite. When a man is looking for a specific service—cuddling, sex, anal, domination, you name it—he finds a woman who offers those services and agrees to a fee that she has set.
There is no need for coercion, buttering up a potential date to try to get her to comply with a particular need or want, and no risk of emotional inequity.
There are many reasons a guy might not be able to find “free” sex.
The only john stories we hear on the news are the bad ones. In reality, most men who exchange money for sex are average, average looking, considerate, and polite. They don’t make the papers.
Men may be short of time. They might not to want to lead women on. They might be in a sexless marriage, but don’t want to hurt the wife They might be working three jobs to put kids through college and don’t have spare time to date. They might be afraid of a relationship after abuse. They might be new in a country and not finding it easy to meet people.
Read: Secrets from Sex Workers about How to Improve Your Marriage in Men’s Health
Differently abled men deserve sex too. So do men with confidence issues, performance problems, or other challenges.
Before I’m accused of implying that men with disabilities or less-than-average men have to resort to paying for sex because they aren’t loveable, let’s nip that in the bud. LOTS of men with a range of situations find their perfect match for sex or marriage.
But what about those who don’t? Do they have to go without?
Older gentlemen may find the dating game tricky to navigate.
There are men with confidence issues because they have a micropenis, because of erectile dysfunction, because they have been paralyzed, because they have mental health challenges, because they are recently divorced, because they are not traditionally attractive—you name it.
Seeing a caring professional can eradicate all the stress of sex and make it possible.
If sex is not debasing, then money for sex is not debasing.
The whole “for free” thing is problematic.
Nothing is free. How does money taint anything? It is in and of itself, neutral.
Supporting independent sex workers and fair employment practices for sex workers is the best way to get rid of pimps and sex slaves.
You can’t outlaw sex work. It’s been illegal all over forever, and yet still it goes on.
The only way to defeat sex slavery or sex-trade exploitation is to support sex workers who choose their work, and support sex industries that have fair employment practices. Put the human traffickers out of business.
Have you thought of hiring a sex worker? Have you already? Please share in the comments!