Want to know the secret to getting more messages and replies on dating sites? Don’t be so damn boring! Competition is stiff (figuratively and sometimes literally), so avoid these mistakes and follow my tips for standing out from the crowd.
You can’t think of anything to say, at all.
I know, I know, you’re a busy man/woman and don’t have time to fill out all those pesky questions. The problem is that this doesn’t make me perceive you as someone with a busy and interesting life, but as someone who either doesn’t give a shit or is lazy. If you’re already messaging people on the site you’d better have something for them to read when they come to your profile. Otherwise you are wasting your time and you won’t get the reply. Super hot chicks might be able to get away with this but the rest of us shouldn’t kid ourselves.
You can’t wait to tell me how average you are.
This is a pet peeve of mine and something I keep seeing more of. And I quote, “I’m just an average guy.” You might think that’s a great way to let me know that you’re down to earth and definitely not a weird stalker, but when I read it those words just kind of echo over and over in my head… just an average guy… just a totally normal, regular guy… Then my next thought is meh… next!
I know this sounds picky but just imagine how much better it’s going to sound if you say I’m a super fun guy, a clumsy guy with a big heart, a hilarious, hockey-playing guy, a guy with a green thumb, a silly guy with a soft spot for old movies, a… you get the idea. Same goes for you “average gals” out there.
Wow, you really ARE that average!
It’s true! Everyone really does love The Wire, enjoys travel, and likes to keep fit. While it’s nice to quickly show that you might have stuff in common, using pop culture and tired clichés to describe yourself isn’t doing you any favors. When writing your profile, sprinkle it with things that genuinely make you unique. If you have trouble thinking about yourself in this way then ask someone close to you for help. Highlight your quirky interests or add some funny thoughts, and consider what aspects of your lifestyle and personality are most interesting. If you don’t think you’re interesting, why should I?
Hell, even your profile pictures are boring.
Last but certainly not least we come to your profile photos. I have seen people use three pictures where each is a different angle of the selfie photo-shoot that went down in their bathroom. It’s fun to see your potential partners in a variety of settings and even outfits. Do you come with some edge but like to get dressed up? Show me by using every day pics contrasted with a shot of you in a tux at your friend’s wedding. Try to vary the poses and include both head and body shots. Also, if you don’t have anything flattering to post then you need to ask a friend to take some new photos of you next time you’re out together. That unflattering, dimly-lit photo where you’re making absolutely no expression? Save it for your passport.
Does the truth hurt? What do you think makes a profile stand out from the rest?