5 First Message Mistakes
If you’re new to online dating you’ll want to read this. If you’ve been online dating for a while and aren’t having much luck, chances are you’ll also be needing the following advice.
Despite the fact that hooking up online comes about by tapping keys and clicking a mouse (how much less human could it be?), the last thing you should be doing is dishing out robotic introductory lines. There’s a real person on the other end, one with real feelings and desires—and until proven otherwise, intelligence.
Save the short’n’sweets for your regular hookups and those with whom you already have an online relationship. Otherwise you’ll come across quite distastefully.
What NOT to say when reaching out for the first time to a potential online hookup:
1. “Hey!” (This one always kills me. How irresistible! How could anyone not be interested in a person who tries to pick them up with “Hey”? …ahem, ahem. Not. I usually jump to the conclusion they haven’t read a book since having been forced to do so in grade 10.)
2. “Wanna fuck?” (You, y’mean? …is what usually comes to mind.)
3. “How was your day?” (Even though you’ve never met, this is so impersonal …not to mention unimaginative. And stupid. Read her profile for god’s sake and say something that tells her you’ve read it.)
4. “8 inches, cut.” (Guys, the ladies don’t wanna hear this as an alternative to a simple hello. Do yourself a favor and surprise her with it later.)
5. “Check out my stats.” (It’s boastful, and presumptuous, hardly intriguing, certainly unimaginative. If you’re that proud of your stats, include them when writing your profile. If anyone is at all interested in you, they’ll find out all about your measurements and curves soon enough.)
Seriously, people, nothing ever beats a kind hello. And if you really are interested in someone’s profile, a gentle—repeat, gentle—compliment will get you farther than, “Nice tits.”
If you’re getting an introductory message from someone that reads, “Hey. How was your day? Check out my stats—8in, uncut, here. Wanna fuck? Msg me. I like your tits in that pic.”, then it is time for a robotic click of the mouse: BLOCK.
For the female perspective: First Online Message Tips