If you were to base your opinions on the stereotypical definition of what it means to be a man, you might conclude that the only factors affecting how well a sex position works for you are the size of your muscles and the length of your cock. I’m here to tell you that’s bullshit.
Here are some possible explanations for why some positions are more difficult than others for you and your partner to achieve.
If you and your partner differ widely in height, you might find certain positions more challenging. Doggy style (at least in its most basic form) requires well-matched thigh lengths. If she has short little legs but you’re built like a grasshopper, you might find yourself fucking the air above her ass, and that’s not fun!
One way around that is to take her from a standing position as she remains on the bed. If that doesn’t work, prop her up with some pillows, or cut a hole in the floor and construct a specialized divot in which to stand. Or, y’know, maybe don’t destroy your home, and just enjoy having sex in one of the many other ways you can.
Obviously, this is going to be a factor in how easy it is for you or your partner to assume a lot of different positions. I have cerebral palsy, so I’m about as flexible as an old-school teeter-totter. I can do one position. I call it The Lobster. (I’ll leave that up to your imagination). It’s a good thing I’m so fucking hot, otherwise I would have never gained enough sexual experience to regale you with my wisdom.
One thing I’ve learned is that sex doesn’t have to look like it does in porn. There are lots of different ways to do it! All that matters is that you’re having fun, whilst not acquiring life-long injuries. Find what works for you, and don’t worry about the rest.
Pain or Discomfort
Speaking of life-long injuries, pain plays a huge role in how smoothly sex might go. Even on a small scale, things like a backache, or menstrual cramps can determine which positions will work and which won’t. Don’t hesitate to speak up if something hurts. Don’t be a hero if it means you’ll pay the price later.
I once sustained a sex-related groin injury that as it turns out, could have been prevented with only a few minor adjustments to my positioning. Pay attention to your body and only do things that feel good. (Unless, of course, you’re into hardcore S&M.) Also, check in with your partner if you think she might be in pain.
Fun fact: It’s hard to enjoy sex when you’re worried about angering your god, or about how your chin might look from a particular angle. If certain positions make you feel bad about yourself, don’t do them! You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone or maintain some crazy standard that you think all sexy people should aspire to.
Sex is way better when you’re relaxed and feeling good about yourself, so embrace what brings you joy, and stop trying so hard to impress. In the same vein, don’t automatically expect your current partner to do that thing your ex- girlfriend did because she might not be comfortable with it, and that’s her prerogative.