Guys, be generous with your compliments to women. Such gestures are nearly—nearly— gifts as good as diamonds. And honestly, why not, it’s just a nice thing to do. Too bad most guys suck at it.
There is one teeny-weeny thing to say in guys’ defence: in the same way that we don’t naturally speak openly about “our feelings”, or how we aren’t ashamed to make a show of farting, we usually just don’t notice the things women might be wanting us to notice and remark upon—we’re hard-wired to be inconsiderate goofs. (I warned you the defence was teeny-weeny.)
When you compliment a woman, she’s actually getting a two-for-one: not only do you like something about her, you notice it. So start paying attention! If it’s your first date, you know damn well she probably put everything she had into her appearance, just for you. It should be easy pickings (if you’re interested in her) to find something about her that’s compliment-worthy. And complimenting her is a guaranteed way to make her feel special, and all women want to feel special.
If you’ve been dating for awhile, I hope you’ve been keeping track of…well…everything. Has she dyed/cut her hair since you last saw her? Is she wearing those shoes she bought last weekend when she dragged you around the mall? (women are so into shoes!) And most importantly, as your relationship carries on, get to notice and remark upon the more finely-tuned things about her. Does she have lovely fingers, toes? Perfect ears? Are her long lashes lip-magnets? Tell her so.
Some guys might think the importance women place on getting compliments is shallow; but I don’t think so—it’s in their hard-wiring, so how can we blame them, fair’s fair (see feelings/farts problem above). And feeling special helps them relax, feel safe, feel confident, and all that positivity finds its way into the relationship (and, let’s be honest, here: it doesn’t hurt the booty-count, either).
So be nice to your ladies. And not just because it’s important to them. They have much more class and beauty than we do, and they deserve to be recognized for it.
And if she ever asks you if her bum ‘looks big in these jeans?’, always say no.
Even if it’s true.
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