While some people will say you’re not a virgin if you’ve given or received oral sex, you may still call yourself a virgin if you haven’t had intercourse, penis penetration.
There’s all kinds of reasons why you might be a virgin. You may be saving yourself for someone you want to commit to, or love. You may have little experience with women and have a hard time meeting or talking to them because you are shy or you just don’t know how.
If you don’t want intercourse, or you’re not ready, but you still want to make out, oral sex can be just as satisfying—for both of you—until you do want to or are ready to take that step. Maybe you’ve already gone down on a woman, but you want tips to improve your play. Let me tell you how to level up with your cunnilingus prowess.
6 Oral Sex Tips for Virgins
1. Give to Get
Do you love blowjobs, but are not too keen on the idea of giving oral pleasure? Sex is a two-way street unless you’re paying a sex worker (nothing wrong with that!) So if you are hooking up or with a girlfriend, exploring each other’s bodies, be prepared to give what you want. And learn to be good at it. Her pleasure should be yours.
2. Practice for Confidence
What I’ve learned through experience with tens of lovers is that most guys who don’t go down or are reluctant, are not so much disinterested but lacking in confidence. Think about everything that you do that you feel confident in, and remind yourself that it’s only through practice that you can feel that way.
3. Choose Experienced Partners
Many older women, including myself, love nothing more than to teach or guide a younger man in the bedroom. There is something very hot about having an inexperienced partner who is more than willing and able to learn and please us. Most of my inexperienced or virgin lovers have made first contact with me on dating sites. I’m always open to these hookups if the approach is genuine and honest. There are many niche dating sites that cater to men looking for mature women.
4. Experiment with Different Techniques
It’s important to develop a variety of techniques. With your tongue you can try long slow up-and-down laps, shallow probes and deep plunges, as well as swirls and criss-cross patterns. You can suck, kiss, and lick. You can use your fingers to tease, tickle, and spread. You can play around with rhythms and tempo—see her vagina as an instrument. Always start delicately before gently increasing depth or pressure.
5. Follow Her Body Language
A lot of young guys ask me how they’ll know if she’s enjoying it. Most women are going to moan in a way that signals pleasure when you’re satisfying her. She may also move her hips towards you or even squeeze your head between her thighs. We love it when you lose yourself in what you’re doing, but don’t get so lost that you fail to read our bodies.
There’s also nothing wrong with just asking if she likes what you’re doing? And you can get specific: Is this pressure okay? Should I lay off your clit a bit? Is this too much sucking? She’ll likely help you with direction too if she knows you are an inexperienced lover.
6. Learn about the Female Orgasm
If you’re not skilled in the oral sex department, you probably don’t know too much about women’s orgasms. Just like no two vaginas are the same, so are no two orgasms. Do a deep dive on the internet, read what you can, and don’t rely on porn to educate you.
You will learn a lot through reading, but even more through doing. You’ll find that some women only come from oral sex (all the more reason to add it to your skill set) and that some like one specific technique but hate another. You’ll learn about multiple orgasms, edging for extending pleasure, and squirting (how rare it truly is) and more.
What else do you want to know? Ask a question in the comments!