If you’re hooking up with a woman for the first time, should you do it chez toi or chez moi, or rent a hotel room?
There are benefits and drawbacks to all of these options. Let’s consider the pros and cons of each.
Where Is the Best Place to Hook Up?
The drawbacks of doing it at your place are many. If you live with your mother or your ex or your kids, this is obviously not an option. If you live solo, it can be thrilling to invite a woman over for sex. But if you want her to feel comfortable, enjoy herself, and respect you, you’ll have to give the tub and toilet a good scrubbing, and wash your sheets. You don’t have to be an interior decorator, but make sure you have soft-light lamps and candles, not just blinding tube lights overhead that you rescued from your kid brother’s marijuana grow-op when it got busted.
If your hookup is a surprise, you can be left scrambling to put things in order. Prepare ahead for trysts by putting aside a basket of clean sheets, tealight candles, wine, and fresh towels. Then you won’t have to dash out to the laundromat at the last minute.
The plus of your place for a hookup is convenience and economy. There are pluses for women too—some women feel safer going to a dude’s place for sex because they perceive it as less dangerous. She’ll know where you live, and that gives some collateral if things get out of hand. She can leave when she wants to, as opposed to trying to force a guy to leave her house if he decides he’s sleeping over or won’t take no for an answer.
There aren’t too many drawbacks for you about going to her place. It’s comfortable, anonymous, and you can leave when you want to.
I love hooking up at my place. I feel in control of my environment and don’t have to worry about whether you’ve washed the sheets or have the condoms or toys I want on hand.
One negative is that she might have roommates that you didn’t know about. Ask in advance, so there are no surprises. But hey, maybe they want to play too!
The hotel has every plus possible, including a housekeeper who takes care of the pesky business of before and after your sex session.
There is room service, clean sheets, and a handy shower. If you want some conversation first, you can always head down to the bar before things heat up. You can hoot and holler with the bonus of not having to hang your head when you see your neighbors.
The biggest drawback to a hotel can be the money. If you’re a gentleman, you will offer to pay. But even if you split the tab, it can add up quickly if you’re a busy boy. Even the cheapest motels can be expensive for some, so only indulge if you can afford it.
You’ll have to decide what the best decision is for every individual hookup. My advice is to think about her first, and let her decide what she’s most comfortable with and how she feels the most safe. If that means a bit of tub scrubbing for you, so be it. If it means a long drive across the city, that’s fine too.
The best casual sex is when she isn’t anxious, and when you’re focused on her pleasure.