When you join a dating site for the first time, you want to write the best profile you can. And if you’ve never tried online dating, it can be daunting. I remember my first time, and the idea of writing about myself was intimidating, not to mention the fear of knowing it would be read by total strangers. It took a few rewrites, some tweaking, and reading it to a close friend before I thought it reflected who I was and what I was looking for.
Then a year passed, and another, and then I noticed something about other people on the site, the people who I had recognized over the years. They never changed their profiles… or very few did. This made them seem stagnant, especially if they mentioned something time specific like they had just travelled somewhere or they were recently divorced.
That’s when it dawned on me that I hadn’t changed mine or barely even looked back to remember what I’d written. I didn’t want people to think what I was thinking about them… that they were too lazy to update their profiles or that nothing new was happening in their lives. I went back and realized I didn’t feel like the same person who was described in the profile, which was actually a good thing! I began rewriting, taking some things out, adding others. I also said that I was open to casual sex… which I hadn’t been when I joined.
All of a sudden I had a spike in messages. Some dating sites encourage updating profiles, and you will show up in more searches when your information changes. Now I make sure to have a good look at my profile every 3-6 months. Something else I’ve gotten in the habit of is refreshing my profile pictures. I don’t use any photos that are more than three years old, and I like to put something new up regularly.
How often do you change or update your dating profile?