I’ve written about body language before, but only with regards to deciphering your date’s level of interest. Now I’m going to offer you some insights into how her body tells you what she needs once you’ve made it past dinner and into the bedroom.
Those of you who are adept at reading body language may think this is all super obvious. This post is intended for men who are at a complete loss. (Guys, I know you’re out there.)
If you and your girlfriend look at each other during sex, you’ve probably noticed that her eyes say a lot. Because every woman is different, I can’t give you any specifics about what to look for, all I can suggest is that you pay attention. Does she look like she’s enjoying herself? Do you feel connected?
If she gives you a particular look when she’s just about to cum, take note of it. This will help you to recognize when she’s close to orgasm next time, so you can maintain, or change up your technique accordingly. If she suddenly avoids your gaze, or you sense a distance in her eyes, this might be a sign that she’s not really in to whatever it is you’re doing.
Is she clawing your back, touching your face, running her fingers through your hair, or gripping the headboard? If so, she’s probably having a really good time. Unless you’re doing it doggie style or she’s requested that you tie her up, your girlfriend’s hands are sure to communicate her passion more than anything.
Obvious signs that she’s NOT having a good time include: Pushing you away, hitting, slapping, or punching you. I’m sure that most of you already know that being pushed away or slapped is reason enough to stop having sex, but just in case someone didn’t get the memo, it’s never okay to ignore these signs, or to chalk them up to your girlfriend playing hard to get.
Pay careful attention to the rhythm of your girlfriend’s movements. Is she moving her hips in time to your thrusts? If so, keep doing what you’re doing. If she slows down or speeds up, try to match her pace. If she grabs your ass and tries to direct you, go with it (unless it makes you feel uncomfortable).
The key is to stay in the moment and notice how your girlfriend is responding. In my experience, some guys just don’t get it. They get easily distracted, or worse, only seem to care about their own needs. Don’t be that kind of guy.
Her Degree of Relaxation
A woman who is enjoying herself in bed will be at ease with what’s going down. She might be a little nervous at the beginning, especially if it’s the first time the two of you hook up, but she won’t remain tense or express any reservations if she’s having a good time.
If you notice that her once relaxed body suddenly tenses up, stop what you’re doing and check in. She might be in pain, or emotionally uncomfortable. Remember that consent is ongoing and can be revoked at any time before or during sex. When in doubt about what her body is telling you, it’s always best to ask.