Many of my friends still prefer going out to bars in the hopes of getting lucky. And some of these same guys are on dating sites, but often complain about not getting enough responses from women. It’s easy to get into an online dating rut, especially if you’ve been doing it for years. Here are some tips that will help boost the number of women you engage with online.
1. Join multiple dating sites. If you’ve been dating online for years, you probably have your comfort zone site. And because this is true for most people, you’re likely missing out on a whole slew of people in your area. If you are loooking for something in particular, think about joining a niche site that caters to specific types of relationships (hookups, short-term, long-term) or interests (threedsomes, kink and cougars).
2. Create the best profile possible. I can’t stress this enough. There are so many sad profiles out there (half-filled out, not filled out, lacking photos, or filled with so many spelling and grammar mistakes, it’s hard to read through). Even if you’re good at sending flirty messages that grab a woman’s attention, she will always go to check out your profile before responding, and if it sucks… game over.
3. Choose appealing photos. This is another problem I see on many profiles. You need to have at least one close-up of your face (that hasn’t been photoshopped!) and a few others of you engaging in your favorite activities. Show your different sides, which don’t include bathroom selfies or dick pics. And don’t use pictures that are more than three or four years old… she’s going to see you for real, right? Let’s not disappoint.
4. Write unique messages. Like your profile, you need to put effort into the first messages you send a woman. Content will come easily if you have read her entire profile. Touch on something you found appealing about her, add a little humor, and avoid being too raunchy or romantic. Also, don’t fall into using “form letters” as women can smell these a mile away.
5. Take breaks. This works to renew one’s spirit, especially after a breakup or a hurtful rejection. A little time off allows you to refocus on the kind of relationship and person you want in your life. Also, when you log back on after a break, you will show up in more women’s searches. I’m not sure why this is, but it seems to happen on many dating sites… it’s an algorithm thing.
6. Update your profile regularly. This was something I noticed after being on a site for more than a year. Many people never adjust, tweak, or update profiles. It’s a bit of a turn off to be honest because it makes a person seem lazy or that nothing interesting is happening in their life (which is probably not true at all!) You don’t have to do a complete rewrite, just add new things that are happening, like you got a new cat, or are studying something new, or you just went on a trip. Don’t be afraid to toot your own horn… a little.
7. Stay cool and positive. I will never say online dating isn’t stressful at times, especially for shy introverts or newbies to the game. But try your best to feel relaxed throughout the process. If women sense frustration in your profile (through demands or limitations) they won’t respond. Also, don’t ask a woman to “please respond” to your message, or follow up with a second message if she doesn’t answer right away. These actions signal desperation and will have the opposite effect that you want.
I hope these tips will help you to meet more women on dating sites. If you have any other advice to help your fellow daters, please share in the comments!