Why do we as online daters feel the need to squeeze ourselves into tiny, clichéd boxes? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve clicked on a guy’s picture, only to be directed to some version of a profile I’ve read before. In all fairness, guy friends of mine have complained about the same lack of originality when it comes to women’s profiles, so I suspect it’s an issue that plagues everyone. While Im all for a balanced approach to criticism, I can only speak to what I’ve experienced first hand.
Common Boring Online Dating Personas
The Renaissance Man
Key profile features: A pretentious-sounding list of your many accomplishments and abilities. At least six pics of you doing something dangerous and/or worldly. The declaration that you’re looking for a “partner in crime.”
Commentary: While it’s super cool that you’re a ridiculously well rounded and accomplished man, the fact that you’re selling yourself so hard is a bit of a turn off.
Suggestion: Try a more humble approach. By showing a wee bit of humility, you can exude confidence without appearing arrogant.
The Average Joe
Key profile features: The assertion that you’re “laid back and easy going.” Some mention of you being a “nice guy in search of a nice girl”(read “No crazy bitches.”) A reference to how “simple and uncomplicated” you are.
Commentary: I might hazard to guess that you’re a little unlucky in love. Do you consider yourself almost too normal or chill for the kinds of ladies you feel might be looking for online dates? Are you tempted to use the expression “no drama” in your profile but are afraid you might be regarded as an asshole if you do? (It’s true. You probably would be regarded as an asshole if you went ahead and said something that hostile before even meeting anyone, sooo… good call.)
Suggestion: If you’re feeling brave enough, try opening yourself up to new experiences and set aside your expectations.
Key profile features: At least two pics of you with other women. Bare-chested selfies, and/or dick pics. A straight-up reference to your above average sexual abilities.
Commentary: You have no room in your life for the gentler, emotional aspects of dating, am I right? You know what you want and you know damn well that you can get it.
Suggestion: While your straightforwardness is (admittedly) refreshing, try to give the ladies a little something more to go on than just your overt sexual intentions. Show a little vulnerability if you think you can.
Key profile features: No profile picture, or a single picture in which your face is obscured by shadows or sunglasses. A self-description that could easily have been written by a monkey. No mention of what you want or need.
Commentary: You don’t really want to go out on a date, do you? You’re on the website because you think it’s time for you to get laid already but your heart and/or self-esteem is just not in it. That’s okay!
Suggestion: Take a bit more time out if you need to and really figure out what you’re looking for. Please don’t make me sit there and wonder if you’re a man. Or a robot. Or a monkey.