The history of humanity is strewn with outdoor encounters. I rather imagine that before the agricultural revolution happened, way back in the Neolithic era, most people who wanted a quick shag found themselves sneaking off someplace outdoors, far from the cave mouth, in order to get the deed done.
Nowadays, though, life is more complicated. Especially in the city, secret outdoor places are harder to find. I have a few ideas!
5 Tips for Quiet Outdoor Dates
1. Embrace the Night
Needless to say, any place that might not seem viable in daylight can become quite serviceable after the lights go down and the shadows fall over everything. I once did it at center field in a varsity football stadium with a particular lady, just because the lights were down and all was quiet. If you just want a friendly meet up for a first date, most any place will do. But if you’re hoping for things to go the distance, wait until dark.
2. Choose Your Favorite Park
The bushes are a time honored place for a quick go at things. I’ve done it in shrubberies, along fairly deserted trails, in the foliage, under the weeping willow, and even inside a giant Christmas tree in a public park downtown. If you combine night and park you have a winning solution to the quest to get laid. Sex in a public space can be exhilarating because you might get caught, but it’s not that fun if you actually are.
3. Get Spooky with It
Graveyards are underrated as places to do it. They can often be deserted, and when you combine night with park with sight-line restricting mausoleums or lines of graves you can probably work something out. Bear in mind that some people might find this disrespectful while others will find it beautiful and an affirmation of life. Suss out your date’s thoughts through text before you get excited.
4. Get Close to the Stars
Perhaps you live where an open rooftop lends itself to middle-of-the-night meetups. Or maybe you are agile enough to climb through a bedroom window and on to a slanted roof at her place. Nighttime helps, but you might be able to swing it in the day too. Of course there are all these drones and Google satellite stuff going on now, so nothing is as secret as it used to be. Still, it’s a romantic place to be for stargazing and making out if you can manage.
5. Park Your Car
Just last week my lady drove me up into the mountains near my place, parked at a vista that overlooked the twinkling city, threw the car seat back flat and clambered up upon me like a hungry cat. The car gives you the freedom to park anywhere, and fuck where you please. Get tinted windows or pull-down blinds for extra privacy, or perhaps a shaggin’ wagon!
Whether you want to hook up down ‘n’ dirty in an alley or make love on a mountain top, the choice is yours. The only thing stopping you is your imagination.