What Women Want from Casual Connections

There are many reasons why a woman might opt for casual sex. Perhaps she has a busy life and doesn’t have the time or energy to commit to something serious? Maybe she just got out of a long-term relationship and wants to keep things light? Or she has a high sex drive that can’t be satisfied by just one man?

No matter what brings her to the casual online dating arena, she’s looking for one thing: a man who will make her search worthwhile. I’ve surveyed my girlfriends and thought long and hard about what I personally hope to gain from NSA hookups, and the results are in! This is what we want:

An Opportunity to Really Let Loose

She doesn’t want to take care of you, or worry about what you might be thinking. If she wanted that level of responsibility, she would be seeking a boyfriend. Right now, all she wants is to rip your clothes off and fuck. She wants to feel your desire and know that it’s safe to unleash the full force of hers.

Forget the notion that women don’t want sex as much as men. It’s an outdated, slut-shaming assumption that has no place in the world of casual hookups. Appreciate the fact that she’s chosen you to satisfy her carnal cravings and give her an opportunity to release all of that pent-up sexual energy.

Sexual Generosity

Put some effort into making her cum! Your partner is obviously horny or she wouldn’t have come looking for you. Sure, she might rush to go down on you, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you to satisfy her too. In my experience, the best hookups are deep mutual explorations.

Take your time and really get to know her body. Focus on foreplay and don’t sprint for the finish line. Let her tell you when it’s time to fuck. (She’ll either tell you she wants it, or she’ll grab at your cock). Either way, you won’t have to guess, and you’ll know that she’s ready for you.


I alluded to it earlier—the misguided notion that women don’t want sex as much as men. Don’t buy into it, and especially don’t let it convince you that the woman you’ve just fucked is some kind of harlot who is undeserving of your full respect.

I’ve had casual sex with men who seemed perfectly kind and worthy of my vagina pre-hookup, but who made me cringe and pull away afterwards with their sexist comments and suggestions that I am some kind of whore for having fucked them so readily. You both went online with the intention of getting laid. Don’t be an asshole about it.


While she might not feel ashamed of her casual sex life, I can pretty much guarantee that your partner doesn’t want you blabbing all over town about it. Sex of any seriousness is a personal matter that should be kept private unless otherwise discussed, and casual hookups are especially private and should remain on the down low, perhaps indefinitely.

Maybe she has a high profile job that could be compromised if anyone found out about your romp in the sack? Maybe she has a partner? If your arrangement is super casual, you probably don’t know that much about her, so it’s best to assume that she doesn’t want to broadcast her involvement with you.

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