I didn’t always call myself a porn star. For the first six years, I called myself a porn actor, wherein I dutifully and happily paid my naked dues. I didn’t feel qualified to call myself a “porn star” until I won a national award as chosen by my porn industry peers and fans in 2017. And I won a national award twice, baby! So I’m not just typing out my ass (but if I could do that, I’d be rich from some very niche porn, ha ha!)
With my experience, I have a unique perspective and skillset, so I thought I’d share tips on how to have more sexy fun in life!
5 Sex Tips from a Porn Star
1. Play Safe at all Times
No playground goes on forever. They all have some kind of boundary where the sand or gravel stops. And essentially, that’s where the fun is supposed to stop. That applies to your sexual boundaries as well, folks! NOBODY is into EVERYTHING in sexuality—that’s simply impossible. There are literally hundreds of fetishes and kinks and things to do, and nobody can endure them all, especially not in one session or scene!
Read: BIG List of BDSM Activities at Kink Lovers
So, know what your limits are, and frolic within them accordingly. Don’t push or risk things in your early days of exploration and erotic interest. If you don’t even think about doing super extreme stuff like double anal or CBT or bastinado in your second time hooking up with someone, you’re doing it right and not messing yourself up by having kink eyes that are bigger than your kink stomach. You have your entire life to play around.
2. Stay Healthy for Better Sex
There’s levels to body discipline, and in porn it goes to much deeper levels with higher plateaus than most muggles can imagine! Whether it’s hard limits for places that sex toys won’t go or sex games they won’t engage in, or unimaginable body modifications, some people take their corporeal shell to unthinkable places in sex and porn. But this requires not only a strong spirit and a strong mind, but also a healthy, strong BODY.
Many porn stars are very serious about their health regimen and what they eat, as well as how much they exercise. Sure, it may be a sacred goddess whore’s temple during the evening, but during the day, all that flows through it is purified water, fruit, vegan food and proper proteins and nutrients. Taking care of your body can add years to your life, which means many more years of sex too!
Read: 7 Foods to Help Boost Your Sex Life
3. Dare Yourself to Ask for Something Wild
One of the fundamental sayings that makes Las Vegas light up and make money every night: NO RISK, NO REWARD. And this is a life maxim that applies very well to the world of sex and porn.
There are times when you are going to bring up your fantasy, let’s say anal sex, and a lover is going to say, “No, thanks,” and maybe leave before anything at all goes down. But don’t let that stop you from trying again with someone new: “Hey, I got this lube and these condoms here, and we’re really having a good time fucking… do you want to try anal tonight?” And if the sex stars align in your favor, then you might be going on a VIP trip to Brownsville!
You never know what you will get when you have the courage and confidence and communication skills to ask for something fun! Go into it thinking about making it a win-win situation, being open to fulfilling their fantasies and satisfying their desires. Who dares wins!
Read: 5 Tips to Ask for What You Want in Bed
3. Play with Yourself
Any sex teacher worth their weight in orgasmic liquid will say this: Play with your own body as much as you feel comfortable doing to get better at sex. And it’s great advice! The cliché “you can’t love someone else if you can’t love yourself” is real! You have to know your own body as much as you can—what turns you on, what turns you off.
Learn where your hot spots are. Your cold spots. What dirty talk makes you hard or wet. What freezes your libido. Figure it out! Your body and what works for it will change over time, so enjoy the journey that is life, discovering what arouses you now that didn’t last week or year or decade. Keep on playing… and playing… and playing…
5. Watch Porn that Inspires You
I don’t agree with ALL the advice that says “don’t learn sex from porn!” because I honestly have learned quite a few things from watching porn, and it works out fine for me! But I think being IN porn helps with knowing how to convert what inspires into reality. I get ideas from the scenes I watch and put my own spin on them in real life—it’s great!
Life can imitate art safely sometimes, and I encourage you to recreate your favorite Hollywood romance scenes AND your favorite porn scenes!
Read: The Benefits of Porn for Men and Women
What have you learned from porn or been inspired by? Please share in the comments!
xoxo
Adhimu “Malcolm Lovejoy” Stewart
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