Respectful Ways to Ask for What You Want in Your Dating Profile

We all want things. Whether or not we end up actually getting those things is something else entirely. Think of the last time someone asked you for something. Were you happy to oblige, or did you find yourself saying, “Fuck no, asshole!”

I think we can all agree that the chance of getting what your heart desires, depends mainly on how nicely you ask. Here are some examples of online dating requests that are too rude to be taken seriously. Have you resorted to any of these? If so, despair not because I’m about to offer you a crash course in respect.

Real Women Only

What does this even mean? Unless you’ve gone on a date with someone, only to discover—once she removed her coat—that in fact she was not a real woman, but a head balanced atop a pile of fuzzy woodland creatures, you have no grounds for making such a request.

If you’re looking for a particular kind of woman, be specific. Spell out what you want in no uncertain terms. Don’t be so arrogant and sexist as to suggest that your preferences define what a “real woman” is.

No Drama

Nobody ever reads this and thinks, Hmmm… I create lots of emotional turmoil… I guess I’d better stay the fuck away! Rather than focusing on what you don’t want, try describing what you do want.

What does “no drama” actually mean? Are you really just looking for someone who can express themselves in a healthy way and thus avoid unnecessary conflict? If so, say that! (Although maybe avoid using the word “thus” if you don’t want to sound like a knob.)

No Fatties

So you’re into skinny women? There’s usually a setting in online dating sites that will allow you to filter by body type. There is absolutely no need to reiterate your preference in your profile, especially in such a crass, fat-shaming way.

This also applies to “no uggos”, by the way. While I realize there’s no filter for that, you should really think about the kind of vibe you’re putting out there. Do you really expect a woman to read your profile and think, I made the cut! I’m not a fatty or an uggo! Score!

Must Be DTF

For those who don’t know, DTF stands for “down to fuck”. If it appears after the words “must be” though, I’m inclined to think it means “drawn to fuckwits” because only a fuckwit would put that kind of pressure on a lady. For the record, it’s okay to state your preference for a casual sexual relationship, it’s just not okay to imply that sex MUST happen.

Sure, some women might not be offended by this blatant demand, but why risk it when you can get the same results with something like, “I’m looking to hook up” or “I’m not looking for a relationship, just NSA sex”.

Do you agree with the old adage that you catch more flies with honey, or have you snagged your fair share with vinegar? Leave your opinions in a comment!

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