Casual dating for many is a way of life. They don’t want to get married or co-habitat or commit in any way. They enjoy the variety and unexpected surprises that come from meeting new people, and they are not always focused on the sex side of things but new experiences.
For some, this just sounds downright strange and like an unfulfilled life full of anxiety and suspense.
Finding My Online Dating Style
Most of my friends were years into the online dating world before I even considered it. I found it exciting enough to hear about their first dates, the good and bad. They would read aloud profiles of potential dates to get my take. It was fun watching from the sidelines, and many friends turned a first date into long-term relationships. Then I took the plunge myself.
I had a lot of questions. I wanted to know how often my friends went on dates. My neighbor said she’d been on four dates the week previous, and my jaw dropped. Was this normal? How could someone sustain such a pace? I found out it wasn’t my normal—mine was somewhere between 3-4 dates a year, a couple of those turning into short-term romantic relationships, one a friendship.
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the years, it’s that I’m not that casual about casual dating. I’d like to take it less seriously and enjoy the unknown more, but I just don’t think that’s who I am. What I do enjoy perhaps more than anything is what I learn about myself and the growth I see from putting myself out there. Yes, there is dating rejection that can knock you around a bit, but online dating also builds confidence and highlights what’s most important in your life and what you’re truly looking for—call it a process of elimination!
Quality will always trump quantity for me. Too many dates in a short period of time stresses me out, and I need time to process each one, the positives and negatives.
One thing I have learned and like to pass on is that it’s a good idea to assume people are playing the field, dating more than one person at a time. I think it’s okay to ask if a person has not mentioned it in their profile, but don’t be shocked if they tell you they saw someone the night before. Meeting more people to date and to be selective about is one of the advantages of online dating.
If you are looking for love, or The One, put that out there to dissuade the casual crew from responding.
Poll: Do You Value Quantity or Quality?
At Hookup Land, we love to hear from our readers. If none of these sounds like you, please share your thoughts on quantity vs. quality dating in the comments.