Nobody likes to put themselves out there, only to be shot down. Acceptance and belonging are human needs, and being deprived of them can feel as terrifying as certain death. If you’re dealing with an overwhelming fear of rejection, you’re not alone.
Many of us would rather jump off of the Empire State Building onto a bicycle with no seat than be rejected. Thankfully there are things that you can do to overcome your fears and become more comfortable with the emotional risks that come along with online dating.
4 Ways to Conquer Your Fear of Online Dating Rejection
1. Jump In Right Away
Get out of your head and into the game. Start surfing the sites and reaching out, even if you’re scared. Waiting until you have the guts to do it will only delay your progress and give your anxiety a chance to take hold. Fear of rejection can feel insurmountable, and the longer you let it dominate your thoughts, the harder it is to overcome.
Take action! Decide that you will put yourself out there, then do it. Show your fear that you have the upper hand, and soon it will get easier to take the chance.
2. Set Goals
Once you’ve grown more comfortable with online dating, set performance targets to keep you motivated. Decide that you will send one message a week, or favorite one profile a day. Try not to focus too much on the outcome of your efforts. Define success solely by how well you’ve met your personal goals.
You can’t control how women will respond to you. Sure, you can make a good impression, but mutual attraction is never guaranteed. Sexual chemistry can’t be forced—it either happens or it doesn’t—and you’ll have a better chance of finding it if you keep searching.
3. Remember, It’s Not always about You
There are many possible reasons why a woman hasn’t responded to your online dating message. She could be inundated with messages, and taking her time to answer them in sequence, or busy with work and unable to write back until the weekend. Maybe she’s even more frightened of rejection than you are, and can’t bring herself to take a chance on something great.
Of course, it’s possible she’s not feeling you, but don’t assume that’s always the case. People have complex lives with lots of distractions.
4. Build Confidence in other Areas of Your Life
Building confidence in other areas of your life will only benefit your online dating mojo. Is there something you’ve always wanted to learn to do that you’ve been putting off? Take the plunge. Enroll in that online course! Go skydiving! Jump up on that horse and don’t look back.
For many of us, fear of rejection sits right next to fear of failure. Challenge one and you challenge them both. In time, as you put consistent effort into breaking out of your shell, you’ll find that the prospect of online dating rejection affects you less and less.
How do you face and deal with online dating rejection? Please share in the comments!