Sex is critical to my life. Let me rephrase that: Uninhibited and open-minded sex is critical to my life. I’d rather be sex-free than settle for vanilla.
In steps nature. It turns out men find it easier to be loosey-goosey about sexstuffs than women and finding women who are willing to go beyond the ol’ standard isn’t always easy. Such a shame.
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If guys want girls to take their flavor up a notch, it wouldn’t hurt to consider the fairer sex’s point of view. I find there are four basic reasons why some (most?) women err on the side of vanilla sex:
“Tried it, didn’t like it.” This one I can work with. There’s still good reason to believe she tried “it” with the wrong guy, or a guy who didn’t know what he was doing. There’s hope yet!
“It scares me.” Fear of the unknown is debilitating. Fair enough. But when I hear about the fear factor, I rest assured that a little education and practice go a long way. Fear can be overcome if, behind it, there’s a longing to give’er a go.
“I don’t even know what that means.” In the age of cyberlife, that statement likely means you’re dealing with a somewhat sheltered individual. You can certainly try enlightening her on the nuances of ball-gags, but you’d be better off moving on. If she’s not even tapped into what things mean, chances are she ain’t interested in trying any of them.
“I’m not a slut.” This one kills me. It’s often the response to suggestions like anal sex, swallowing, and more-than-two-in-the-bed-at-once. Why should there be a naughty/nice line? Sex is sex, whomever is going at it. If sex is important to you, the words “I’m not a slut” should be a red flag for sex so vanilla that not even an apple pie would lie next to it.
So here’s what I’m saying:
Not all girls are uptight about sex. Some are less uptight than men (without being considered sluts, thankyouverymuch). But take a moment to understand what’s behind a woman’s decision to hesitate diving into that fantasy you’ve been yearning to realize.
Review the aforementioned list, then consider other possible options why a woman might not be so hot on your ideas. As is often the case, communication can go a long way towards knowing whether or not you’re wasting your time… or on the cusp of finding your next awesome lover.
Tell us what you think