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Just Don’t Get It in Your Eye

What can I say: I love girl-squirt. (Or, as the garden-party set might call it — female ejaculation.) There was a time when I barely understood what it was. But like everything sexual, my curiosity got the better of me, and I was determined to experience it.

I asked one female friend about it and she tore a strip out of me. “That’s just one more thing men expect women to do! Nothing in it for the woman at all, like anal sex!” (Clearly a statement made by someone who’s never had an assgasm.) Well, that was just the kind of unenlightened hogswallop-of-a-challenge I needed to hear: girl-squirt here I come!

So I eventually discovered within my circle of female friends someone who girl-squirts enough to extinguish a five-alarm fire. And guess what: she does it for herself, no man expects it of her. From her I learned that “squirters” walk ubiquitously among us, at ease with their sexuality, and usually insatiable. “I want summa that!” begs moi. I was subsequently introduced to — and had sexy fun with — a whole new culture of women: Squirters.

Best. Sex. Ever.

These women are not at the mercy of men. It’s the other way around. Cuz the thing about squirting is it’s the FOURTH(!) kind of orgasm a woman can experience. In no particular order:

clitoral, vaginal, anal, (and what I now call) “hosal”

If you could cum four different ways from now ‘til next Sunday, wouldn’t you? Anyone who claims otherwise is either fooling you or just a fool.

Now that I have some first hand know-how, I’m comfortable discussing it with women I start to date. And I’m more often than not told, “I wish I could!” or “I think I’m built for it but can never quite get there!” or my favorite, “Today’s your lucky day, mister!”

I’ve also subsequently revisited the subject with the original friend — the frigid man-basher.

“So guess what I discovered and added to my list of faves?” I asked her, while forcing down the most disgusting mock-whatever at her insisted-upon it’s-just-like-the-real-thing tofu bar. But she refused to believe that my True Female Ejaculation weren’t with prostitutes, clinging to the notion that only a whore would agree to such a thing. By this point I considered her perspective on sex would be forever unenlightened and toxic.

My advice to her? “Y’know, maybe you should go fuck yourself.”

For tips: Make Her Ejaculate

Tell us what you think! 2 Comments

  1. al

    June 2, 2015 at 5:05 pm

    want a squirter bad

  2. Mark Bodle

    August 1, 2018 at 6:26 pm

    My advice to her? “Y’know, maybe you should go fuck yourself.” Love your man, but maybe just maybe you should have taken a step back. After all it’s our culture that represses female sexuality that was the issue, not her. After all a man pulls a hat trick and gets praised for it, but a women does it and is considered a whore. When she refused to believe that your True Female Ejaculation weren’t with prostitutes, she showed how sexually repressed are society has made her. Be the kind of guy who will free women of their bondage, and promote the outlook in other men you know. That is the only way things will change. She will change, and that is the day we all win… YAY SEX!

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