Are you thinking about trading in the single life for a girlfriend, but aren’t sure you’re finished sowing your wild oats. If so, here are five questions to think about before you give up your little black book and five online dating profiles.
Is This What All Your Friends are Doing?
Maybe your friends are slowing drifting away, getting married, having kids. You’re feeling the societal pressures that guys your age should be settling down. Family life isn’t for everyone. Not that you have to be a player forever, but getting into a relationship because that’s what everyone you know is doing is definitely not a reason to commit to a long-term relationship. If you enjoy playing the field, then play… if the right woman comes along, you’ll know.
Do You Have Relationship Experience?
Jumping into a serious relationship without ever having experienced that level of commitment can be an eye opener. I know, I know, you have to start somewhere, right? But moving from a hookup free-for-all lifestyle to a monogamous relationship is challenging. Go slow because it’s easy to go from lovers to something more, but not as easy to reverse that.
Would You Do Anything for Love?
A girlfriend will expect a lot more from you than a friend-with-benefits or a regular booty call. Are you prepared to be there when she needs you, to put your own desires and plans second at times.
Is This a Fix-It for Other Problems?
Is your life in a bit of a shambles? Are you unemployed, moving, suffering from depression. A lot of men look for love as a way to fix the rest of their problems. And yes, there are plenty of women out there that like to to take care of men, but not always in a healthy way. We all go through tough times, but staying true to oneself is important. You want someone to support you, not change who you are.
Can You Give Up Star Status?
Being single means you’re number 1. Most of the time your needs are put first, and you don’t have to feel the pressure or obligations of a partner and her family and friends. Are you ready to let go and tell your buddies you can’t go out or watch the game. A relationship changes things, and if you enjoy doing what you want when you want…well, just sayin’.
One Love? One Sexual Partner?
Leaving hookupland means saying goodbye to sexual variety. Sure, the beginning of any relationship is often hot as hell, but things become routine faster than most of us want unless you have a two strong sex drives and desires to keep experimenting, a rare combination, I’ve found. And what’s the first thing people do when they get out of a long-term relationship? Go out and get some!
I probably sound jaded and sour, but no, I’m always open to love with the right person, and I think we all should be. I just like to remind my fellow casual daters that settling into something serious for the wrong reasons rarely satisfies long-term.