I’m no stranger to casual sex. It has a lot going for it, especially for someone who doesn’t feel they have time for a serious relationship, but who still wants to satisfy their sexual yearnings. But no-strings-attached isn’t always easy to find, even with several online dating profiles. And after awhile, a lack of intimacy can drag a girl down. I know, I know, I want to have my cake and eat it too…
That’s when I thought a friend with benefits would be the perfect solution. Of course, I was only half-right. I soon realized there were many a pro and con to this much-hyped relationship.
It’s not like you have to scour through online profiles, message a ton of people, and then date and flirt to find that fwb. She’s already a part of your life, waiting for that booty call.
Keep on Truckin’
Life as you know it (your habits, your lifestyle) really doesn’t have to change much. An fwb isn’t going to be a girlfriend who tries to change you or who has expectations (maybe in the bedroom!)
Practice makes Perfect
If you’re lacking confidence in your bedroom skill set, what better way to practice or try new things with a friend who you already feel comfortable with.
Preparing for the Real Deal
One thing that ruins a lot of potentially serious relationship is hopping into bed too soon, but if you’re getting your rocks off regularly when you meet the right woman, you won’t be as eager.
Even if your initial intention wasn’t to turn your friend into a girlfriend, it can and might happen. You’ll be strengthening your bond through sex without the pressure of a new person or performance anxiety.
Lose Your Touch
The truth is, a friend with benefits relationship is more about oneself than giving and thinking about the needs of another. If you stop dating for awhile, you may forget how to treat that potential special someone.
What may start out as a perfect arrangement can over time have one or both of you feeling used. This will happen if the sex becomes more frequent than just buddy time.
What often happens is one person will develop romantic feelings while the other is fine with business as usual. Once this occurs, it’s hard to keep either the fwb relationship going or returning to the way things were.
What happens when one of you finds an outsider they want to date? Not always a smooth transition, for sure. You may also experience strange reactions from your circle of friends – unwanted gossip that can hurt your chances of finding a serious relationship.
So what may have started out as a great no-strings convenient set-up has now become predictable and routine. Is lazy dispassionate sex really better than no sex at all?
I’m still waiting to see how my friend with benefits turns out, but I’ve already experienced some of the pros and cons on this list.
I advise being upfront and honest about the situation and discussing expectations as soon as you find yourself in a fwb relationship.
Any friends with benefits stories you can share? How did it begin and/or end?