Let’s face it. Most of us enjoy sex, a lot. Why else would we go to such lengths to read (and write) about it, or visit websites for the sole purpose of getting laid? Sex is a glorious, life affirming thing! For some of us, however, it can become an obsession that develops beyond the boundaries of what’s healthy. It can actually become an addiction, complete with the classic markers of dependency and withdrawl. So how can you tell if your love of sex is just a healthy appreciation for physical intimacy, or a larger problem that should be addressed?
1. You Can’t Stop, Even When You Want To
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you’re not particularly attracted to someone but choose to go to bed with her just because you can? Maybe you’re not really proud of the fact that you keep using this person, but you can’t seem to help yourself? Maybe you’ve had sex earlier that day with someone else and don’t even really NEED the release, you just want it because it’s available to you and you feel helpless to turn it down? These behaviours could indicate that you have an unhealthy relationship with sex that needs examining.
2. Your Obsession Gets in the Way of Important Responsibilities
It’s normal to have the odd day-long fuckfest with a partner, where you order in all your meals and the two of you barely leave the bedroom. If you find that you’re seeking this kind of sexual intensity all the time (possibly with multiple partners) and that your shenanigans are getting in the way of things like going to work and paying your bills, you might have a problem.
3. You spend Little Time Pursuing Activities Unrelated to Getting Laid
This point relates back to the last one I made about losing sight of your responsibilities and spending way too much time on the task of getting laid. Do you find yourself trolling multiple dating sites for hours each day? Do you feel anxious and distracted if you aren’t able to devote the time you want to meet prospective partners? Do you consider almost everything you do to be for the ultimate purpose of meeting women and having sex with them? If so, well you get the idea.
4. You Engage in Sex at the Expense of Your Health and/or Relationships
Do you ever find yourself in sexual situations that you know are really bad for you or that you know will cause tension in your relationships but you just can’t help yourself? Maybe you keep cheating on your partner despite wanting to commit and have a healthy relationship? Sex addiction, like any other kind of addiction is characterized by a loss of control over your behaviour and an inability to stop, even when your actions are causing you or your loved ones harm.
5. You Need More and More to Feel Satisfied
Sexual need can shift and change based on lots of factors, such as age and relative health. Everyone has a unique level of desire, but if you find that you need an increasing amount of sex over time to feel satisfied, or even that you are insatiable, you might want to step back and seek out some help. Lots of people struggle with sex addiction. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just take an honest look at yourself and decide if you need to make some changes.
Also read: Tips for Overcoming Sex Addiction