Casual sex sometimes gets a bad rap, especially when it’s a woman’s choice. You know the stereotype: a man who gets around is a player, whereas a woman is a slut. Slut shaming is no longer accepted, and our choice to enjoy causal sex needs to be respected.
There are many reasons we choose casual sex over relationships, and this can be disappointing for some men. It’s not uncommon these days for a man to meet a beautiful exciting intelligent woman he would like to pursue a relationship with, only to be told she’s not interested in anything more than sex. Here’s why we prefer casual sex at certain times in our lives.
7 Reason Women Choose Casual Sex
1. She’s polyamorous and already has a primary partner.
More and more women are living in polyamorous arrangements—open marriages, polycules, open relationships, and many other poly dynamics. If she considers herself to be part of a primary unit, she may only want casual hookups on the side. Most poly peeps operate from a place of honesty about their intentions when it comes to online dating and what they’re looking for, so you can expect to be told what’s what up front if this is the case.
2. She’s exploring nonmonogamy and its benefits.
Polyamory is just one kind of nonmonagous relationships women try on for size or fully embrace. Not settling down, whether to live with or marry a partner, offers a special kind of freedom for women of all ages. It’s not realistic to expect all of our needs to be fulfilled by one partner, so having an array of connections makes this more possible.
3. She wants to enjoy a variety of sexual experiences or lifestyles.
She enjoys sexual experiences that run the gamut. She may consider herself submissive in the bedroom, but every once in a while will want to dominate her partner. She may like vanilla sex on Tuesdays, but ask to be tied up on Wednesdays. Each of her partners offers something new, in their sexual approach and taste, and that can be exhilarating. New partners also offer new energy in the bedroom.
4. She has passions and interests that come first in her life.
This is something that most men can relate to. Whether you are focused on moving up in your company, or you are fixated on your martial arts training regime, or you are planning your next travel adventure, there are many things in life that are more interesting than the struggles of making a relationship work. While she’s pursuing her interests, a woman is still going to want sexual fulfillment, and that’s what casual sex offers.
5. She is being honest about her issues with commitment.
We’re not all wired for long-term relationships and co-habitation, and sometimes it takes a while to figure that out. If a woman knows from her track record, through therapy, or just plain old self-realization that she’s unable to commit for whatever reason, she’s not going to pursue it until she’s ready. But that doesn’t mean she needs to go without sex.
6. She doesn’t want the constraints that a monogamous relationship can have.
Choosing casual sex over a closed relationship may just be a personal preference. She may love bountiful sex with a number of different lovers. She may want to be free to hook up with an old flame every time he comes into town. She may want to flirt and fuck men she meets on vacation. There’s nothing much like being a free bird if that’s your nature.
7. She loves sex with men and women, but can’t decide on one.
If she’s admittedly bisexual, it may be that she doesn’t want to give up one for the other. Even a bi-curious younger woman may well want to explore sex and short-term engagements with both, before committing to a relationship with one. She may even love group-sex encounters with both that aren’t available in monogamous relationships.
Do you prefer casual sex over relationships? Share your reasons in the comments!