I was speaking with a guy friend of mine recently about his online dating experiences. He told me the standard guy story of having to send out a ton of messages before receiving even one response. He said that the whole process of having to try so hard for so few results was frustrating and depressing and that he was ready to just give up.
Of course I gave him some advice about choosing a fun-looking profile pic and the importance of saying exactly what he’s looking for in his summary, but even with these new leads, my friend seemed completely cynical.
I could sense his anger and could tell by the way he approached the whole thing that there was an unfortunate catch-22 going on. The more frustrated he got, the less open he became to contacting new women, but the more closed he felt about putting himself out there, the more he wanted to include such negative and offensive statements in his profile like “No games” and “No bitches.”
I’m telling you right now that it will NEVER benefit you to include those things in your profile. You’ll have much better luck if you can find a way to keep yourself from hitting that anger wall in the first place. Here are some suggestions that might help…
Choose the Right Site for Your Needs
Although it is indisputably harder for men to find a date online than it is for women, you want to make sure that part of the issue isn’t that you’re looking in the wrong place. There are dating sites for pretty much anything you can imagine. If you’re only interested in an NSA hook-up, don’t try a site that advertises long term relationship success. Figure out what you really want, state it as clearly as you possibly can in your profile, then post it to a site designed for people who want the same things.
Accept that Success Is Going to Take Time
I know that we all want things to happen for us right away. I’m no exception, but if you can prepare yourself for the reality that finding an online partner might take some time, you can convince your brain to relax a bit and be open to the process. Desperation is noticeable and very off-putting to women. If you give yourself a reasonable time line and stop worrying about it so much, you’ll be happier and in turn, attract more ladies.
Keep Busy
Do what you can to find a date, but be sure not to neglect the other less frustrating aspects of your life. If you can distract yourself by getting out and doing things with your friends, or focusing on work or a hobby, you’ll be less consumed by the whole internet dating process and more likely to attract the right person to you. Focusing on the things you enjoy will also make you live life more and therefore make you more enticing to be around. If those words make you want to throat punch me, I get it. Sometimes living life to the fullest seems impossible. Just do all you can on any given day and focus on the good things.
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