Online Dating Secrets from Women

When I get together with my single girlfriends, we all have something to say about our recent online dating experiences. A lot of the talk is about men’s profiles and lack of messaging prowess.

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I’m going to share a few secrets that will help you meet more women online for hookups and relationships.

What Women Want to Say to Men about Online Dating

“Look beyond my looks.”
Beautiful women have it a bit harder than an average looking gal. They may receive more messages, but most of them are from men who’ve just seen their pictures and get turned on. Women want to be treated as individuals and know that a man is attracted to what’s inside as well.

“Message me when I’m not online.”
Why? Because most women feel put on the spot, and there’s a weird feeling of invasion. Trust me on this one… just wait. Besides, you need to read her entire profile and write something personal to her… that takes longer than writing, “I see you’re online, how’s it going?”

“I want to read a thoughtful message.”
Women are sick of receiving form messages from lazy dudes. It says a lot about your character if you just write a generic message and cut and paste it to a hundred women’s profiles. Experienced daters can spot these and will never respond, so put the effort in to craft a first message worthy of a response.

“Men need to write better profiles.”
Women are more discerning when it comes to online dating, even for casual encounters. Even if you send a great message, know that she will check out your profile thoroughly before responding. If your profile is half assed with one blurry picture, you’re screwed—and not in the way you want!

“Don’t waste your time… and mine.”
If you’re only looking for hookups and the woman you want to message clearly states she’s looking for a serious relationship, leave her alone. I’m monoagmous and get messages from poly guys all the time, wondering if I might be into it. Women hate this bullshit. If you’re part of a niche community, then use niche dating sites like or

“I want a man with a plan.”
The coffee shop or bar date are predictable and boring, and make a first date feel like an interview. I love meeting in a park, packing snack and drinks, and chilling while getting to know a person. It feels more natural. Other women prefer to do something active to take the pressure off, like bowling or hiking.

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