Hooking Up at Bars vs. Hooking Up Online

Online vs. Onsite

It’s evening and I’m horny. Do I go to my local pub to meet and greet tonight’s menu, or simply get online and order in (by which I mean cruise the hook-up sites, not the escort sites). For me, this has become a dilemma not about laziness, but worthiness. Is it really worth going to a bar if all I really want is a quickie?

I say it’s not worth it.

1. Bars are expensive. How much money should I have to spend “getting to know” a potential quickie?

2. Meeting in a bar is likely to distract from the need at hand, and “politics” can take forEVER! Have I not mentioned this was an emergency horny situation?

3. Online, I can get specific details about what she might be into—before any conversation has even begun! More importantly, I can “walk away” with the click of a button and not have to worry about being stalked by someone whose feelings were hurt.

Call me slutty and shallow.  Whatever: the thought of my loins getting what they need without having to step out into the cold is extremely appealing.

Besides, there are women who are happy to hookup online for sex. Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you.

So here’s what bothers me: why do people judge hooking up online for quickies as though it were unsavory, or equivalent to prostitution?! Because it doesn’t involve as much legwork? That’s just ridiculous. Both parties consent? Both parties are looking for the same? Sounds like good clean fun to me. I, for one, am thrilled with how the interweb has facilitated this need.

And to those who argue that it’s only enabled the proliferation of unsafe sex, I say this: if you think people weren’t having risky sex before the advent of online dating, then it’s time to get your head out of your arse. Bad judgment with regards to sex, and alcohol, and drugs—and, what the hell, let’s throw rock’n’roll in there just for shits’n’giggles—has been and will be around for as long as irresponsible people will walk the earth.

Please don’t blame my dating site for the fact that I may get horny in the middle of the night.