Online Dating and Making the First Move

Q: Dear Holly. I’ve recently joined a couple online dating sites on the advice of a female friend who says I need to get out after a crappy divorce. It feels weird, but she’s right in that I’m just not finding myself in places where I meet women to date or hook up with. I mention hookups because I’m not ready for anything serious.

When I’m on a first date, what are some signs that a woman is interested and that I should make a first move? I’ve been out of the game so long, I feel a bit rusty. – Michael

A: Hi Michael. Your friend is right about online dating being your best bet for a couple of reasons. The dating scene has changed over the years, with less people going to social events or clubs and bars to meet. There are many advantages to online dating, and browsing profiles from home is one of them.

Women aren’t going to ask you to make a move, so reading body language is very important on a first date to know if she’s interested.

Signs It’s Cool to Make a First Move

  1. She makes eye contact. This means she is engaged and interested.
  2. She laughs as your jokes and smiles. This lets you know she thinks you’re funny and is having a good time.
  3. She talks about a next date. This is a good indication that she sees potential in what you have to offer.
  4. She touches you casually. If she pokes you or brushes her hand on your thigh, she’s definitely interested and comfortable around you.
  5. She talks about sex. This likely means she is at ease with her own sexuality and is letting you know that she is keen to explore things with you.

These are all signs that a first move probably won’t surprise her, but remember a first move isn’t trying to undress her or grabbing her pussy. Be a gentleman and lean in for the kiss. Proceed forward given her response.

If you’re lucky, your date may take it upon herself to make the first move. That’s how I like to roll, especially when the sparks fly and the chemistry feels right.

Hookup Help is a Q&A series. If you want advice or a female’s perspective on hooking up, online dating, relationships, or sex, we want to hear from you. SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION, and who knows, you may appear in the next Hookup Land newsletter.

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