Q: Dear Jenny. As I get more experience with online dating, I’m beginning to notice the lies women tell in their profiles. I guess the big one is pertaining to their actual looks. I’m yet to meet a girl who looks as good as she did in her photos. The other thing is age. I’m too much of a gentleman to ask, but I’m sure many have said they are younger. Can I ask her about this on a date? And is this just par for the course when it comes to dating sites? – Adam
A: Hi Adam. The more you date, the more you will see all sorts of things people lie about, or at least that you suspect they lie about. I always recommend using good photos for your dating profile but not awesome photos (you know, the ones that make you look amazing but don’t really look like you.) It’s better to be a pleasant surprise than a disappointment.
Age IS a big one when it comes to online fibbing. I would suspect more women lie than men just based on the age ranges you see people looking in. Men often have a much younger range, while women are willing to date much older. I recently went on a date with a man who lied about his age. He said he was six years younger, closer to my age. He explained that he did so that he would show up in more searches. I understand his strategy, and it wasn’t so much his actual age that bothered me but the lie itself… amongst as other things!
You’re right about not asking. It’s rude. If you really like a woman and have a great date, continue to see her. And if she is lying, hopefully she’ll come clean soon, and you can both laugh about it.
I choose to go the honesty route when it comes to filling out a profile because I want to be open to a relationship, as well as hookups. The truth is, a little white lie may help you get a date, but it could also ruin it. Not everyone is going to see it as no big deal, and may worry you are not being up front about other things. It’s can also a sign of insecurity which is a warning for most people.
Be real to attract real!
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