It stands to reason that most of you are reading Hookup Land as a casual sex resource. But some of you are yet to make use of hookup apps or online casual dating sites. Maybe you have, but it’s been a while. Maybe you’re coming off of a long-term relationship and aren’t entirely sure how to proceed or what you’re looking for, what to expect. Maybe you’re curious, and just looking for now.
Maybe you are involuntarily celibate at the moment, but you aren’t seeing someone special and aren’t sure if hooking up is for you. Or maybe you’ve decided already to have a one night stand and enjoy some torrid, no-strings-attached sex, and you’re waiting for the right connection.
There are many benefits to casual sex that we seldom talk about in our communities. Telling your doctor you have numerous casual love affairs is like going to confession! When new friends ask if you’re seeing someone, and you say nothing serious, they assume you are a sexless creature to be pitied. No one says, “Mom and Dad, I had a wild fling last night, and it’s just what I needed,” at Sunday brunch.
But we can talk about it here. There are pros and cons to casual sex, but it seems that in polite company we only talk about the drawbacks and risks.
Here are some reasons you should indulge in no-strings sex from time to time.
Why a One Night Hookup Makes Sense
Stay in Tune with Your Body and Sexuality
You’re not asexual just because you aren’t in a relationship at the moment. Whether from the purely mechanical perspective of keeping the motor running, the hormones coursing, and reminding yourself that you live in a body that thrives on touch and attention, sex is good for you.
Remind Yourself that You Still Got It
When it’s been a long time since we’ve had sex, we can start to wonder whether we have the power to attract a lover or please someone sexually. The occasional hookup can keep us feeling hot and sexy.
Distract Yourself from a Breakup, Divorce, or Loneliness
Instead of moaning, groaning, and eating more pizza and Netflix, why not celebrate independence or bury your sorrows with some living and loving? You don’t have to rush into a relationship. But nor do you have to be celibate when you’re getting over something that wasn’t working.
Mix Casual Sex into Your Busy Schedule
Working nights at the hospital, taking the kids two nights a week, and studying in the morning doesn’t mean you should never have sex. You might not have time for dating and commitment because you have other commitments. Casual encounters can fit better into your schedule until you’re ready for something else.
Take a Break from Porn and Masturbation
I love playing with myself, trust me. But playing with someone else is essential to health and happiness! We need human touch and are more sexually excited with each other.
Cut the Strings for a Liberating Experience
Sex can be all about big things like love or making babies. But there’s something to be said for zero fucks and not having to worry about the big picture. Sex as stress relief, pleasure, fun, as a social event without deep emotions has its place. Relationships are rewarding, yes. But they are also complicated. Playing without strings now and again is great fun.
Relieve Your Stress
Sex is one of the best stress relievers we know of. It’s a good way to blow off steam, experience pleasure, rev up the circulation, keep the hormones in order, take pressure off of the body and soul, and spice up the doldrums that everyday life can inflict. It also helps with sounder sleep, blood sugar levels, a healthy circulatory system, and oodles more health benefits, simply from stress relief.
Have Your Cake and Eat It Too
You don’t have to derail your life in order to enjoy a sexy encounter. Sometimes falling into lust or love can take your life off track. You can focus on your passions and interests, but take one night to escape.
Find Hookups with Ease
You probably can’t build a relationship with someone who has opposite political, ideological, or religious positions. Bridging cultures can be tricky. Maybe she wants kids and you already have a few. Maybe she’s just super vain or fluffy or has other conflicting personality traits. All of those things count when looking for a love connection, but none of them are important when it’s just sex. Eureka!
Explore New Kinks and Practices
Casual sex is a great way to be adventurous or experiment. You might be curious about some kinks or positions but aren’t sure whether real life measures up to your fantasies. Or maybe your new partner will invite you to try something that doesn’t really stir your pot, but since they aren’t depending on you from here on in for their satisfaction, you think why not?
Casual sex can feel liberating because we don’t have to worry so much about feeling embarrassed or not getting too deep. There’s no expectation of next time. We can be less inhibited if we know we’re not going to see a lover at work or on our front porch the day after!
Do you have one night stands often? What’s your take on no-strings sex?