Last week I wrote the post: Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Your Casual Hookup. Have you given it some thought, and maybe even tried to push past that realization that things just aren’t working out with your casual hookup, only to conclude that change is inevitable? While it might not feel quite as heart wrenching as a romantic breakup, ending things with a casual sex partner is still a delicate matter.
It can be tempting to just disappear and let your fuck buddy draw her own conclusions, but that’s a really cowardly and disrespectful way to handle things, so please on behalf of every woman out there, don’t do that. There are better ways to approach things.
Tips for Calling it Quits with a Casual Hookup
Be Direct yet Respectful
The best thing you can do is be totally upfront about things. Tell your partner it just isn’t working for you. Don’t go into a lot of complicated explanations or be rude about it. Just be straight up and allow her to react in whatever way she needs to. If she cries or gets angry, that’s okay. It sucks that she’s hurting, but it’s not your job to keep her happy or to control her emotions.
In the end, it’s much kinder to be direct and quick. Don’t draw things out. You also want to avoid backtracking or giving her conflicting massages. I once had a guy totally confuse me with his back and forth approach to breaking up. Ugh. Just do the job and get out.
Don’t Avoid it
The longer you let things drag on, the harder it will be to pull the plug, and the more likely you’ll be to bolt without warning, like a total asshole. Have the conversation before you lose your nerve. If you want to think about it a bit, that’s fine. It’s probably a good idea to make sure you aren’t just scared or calling it off for stupid reasons, but once you’re sure, don’t waste any time.
Also, don’t hang in just so you can get your rocks off a few more times. That’s almost as shitty as just disappearing. You want to treat your hookup partner with respect, even if it’s clear that things aren’t going to work out.
Don’t Blame Her
Even if you’re breaking things off because you think your fuck buddy is the most annoying person on earth, or because you think that her vagina smells like a sack of rotting pike, don’t tell her that; but don’t do the whole, “It’s not you it’s me” thing either because that’s so annoying and clichéd.
If anything, just say that you feel you’re not compatible. Being rejected is hard enough without the added assaults to her ego. Also, stinky vaginas are a fact of life. If you notice a problem, gently point it out outside the context of breaking it off. Be a friend about it.
Do it In Person
I cannot stress this enough! Breaking up over a text or email or Facebook or the phone is not acceptable. Even if you’ve only been hooking up for a short while, do the classy thing and break it off in person. Give her the respect of witnessing her reaction.
It’s her right as the person being dumped to express herself to you in whatever way she chooses. You don’t have to take it on but you should at least listen and allow for proper closure. If you’ve ever been dumped, I’m sure you can understand. Be an upstanding guy and do it properly.