Warding off the deep freeze and some exhaustion from working long hours, I was relaxing with some low-brow, rom-com movies and was not impressed with the pussy-eating jokes.
Women have a misconception that guys don’t like going down on us, and then they say it’s because men don’t like the taste and smell of pussy, and then they say it’s because guys are sexist or misogynist.
The last time I heard the girls in the locker room talking like this, I said, “Um, please. Dudes have made a whole industry out of SNIFFING FILTHY PANTIES! They don’t even care if we skip the shower and dribble a bit of urine.”
The ladies had to think for a moment about this because they realized right away that it was true. “So why aren’t they eating more pussy?” one woman asked.
Here is my response.
They don’t know what they’re doing and are anxious about it.
The number one reason you guys don’t eat out is because you don’t know whether you’re doing it right, or if she’s bored because you’re taking so long, or because you’re not sure how to warm her up that way, or you’re not sure she likes what you’re doing.
If you’re not sure your strokes are hitting the sweet spots, or you’re uncertain your repertoire of swirls and nibbles is the right way to navigate those trails, you’re going to be reluctant to lick pussy.
Once you understand that you are starting fresh with every woman because each gal is different, you can relax and let her lead because there’s no way you can know.
Show up, ready and willing with your mouth open, and enjoy.
It’s a cultural thing.
Whereas most men brag about getting all the pussy they can handle, in some cultures, like Jamaican dance hall culture, dudes brag about how they “no eat pum pum.”
I can’t imagine thousands of men want to deprive themselves of one of the finest things in life, but not only do they not do it, they sing about not doing it and go wild on the dance floor to songs about not eating it.
This can be seen as simple machismo, yet other cultures with equally intense masculinity, such as the stereotypical “Latin lover” prove their manhood with all the oral a girl can handle.
If you’re from a culture that frowns on pussy service, you might be missing out on the very meaning of your masculinity. You also have a very easy way to get ahead of all the other guys in the game.
Guys think we don’t want it.
This is almost always the reason guys don’t do more oral, in my experience. Sometimes I send signals to hurry up or skip that course—that’s when I’m self-conscious about finishing my period or my yoga pants not being airy enough. I don’t want to interrupt the mood to hop into the tub, so we just kind of gloss over the oral.
This can be misinterpreted as a preference rather than a single event.
Women can be very self-conscious, especially with hookups, about how long it takes to have an orgasm, and we might not see a few minutes of oral as worth bothering for. We don’t want to ask you to put in the time, so you think we don’t really care for it or want it at all, this time or next.
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