Just the Tips

Online Dating Tips for Men Out of Long-Term Relationships

Couple on Date at Bar

So you’re a guy who’s divorced, separated or out of a relationship that lasted a good few years. You’re ready for dating or a hookup, but you’ve been out of the game for a bit and not sure where to go from here. The usual meet-a -new-lady options just aren’t working out, and some of your friends have suggested that maybe you might find some luck online dating. Niche dating sites are especially good if you’re not ready for anything serious.

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That’s where I found myself this year—ready and willing, but not able. Where do I start? How do I start… there were so many daunting unknowns. How do I find someone who’s looking for the same things as me? How do I properly represent myself? And how do I make sure I don’t waste my time or anyone else’s?

Once you’ve decided to get online, there’s a few things that I found helped to meet women. The best tip I can offer is to be genuine—in your profile, pics, and the messages you send. If you’re not, then you’re just wasting everyone’s time. You’ll start chatting with someone or make it to a first date, and it will become obvious fast that you’re not who or what you said you were… and it’s back to square one.

After you’ve put together a simple profile, set some parameters such as what geographical area you want to meet people in, what age range and type of relationship you are looking for. Your next step is to start checking out women’s profiles. Why not just dive in and finish your profile? Why not move on to the all-about-me stage? Well, probably because you can’t yet. It helps to look at what your potential dates have written not only to see what they like and want, but also to get a sense of how much they are including about themselves, how long a profile is ideal, and what the kind of women you are reading about might like about you.

I’m not suggesting that you’ll be writing a detailed profile that panders to what women you like are looking for—that won’t work. It will seem too good to be true and again, after some messages or a date it will be obvious that you’re not being genuine.

What I’m getting at is a matter of style. You want to put in as much an effort into the length and quality of your profiles as your potential dates. It will be appreciated and you will get more first messages and replies. Women read meticulously through a man’s profile before responding (at least this is what my lady friends tell me).

After you’ve written a decent bio, choose some profile pics. It helps to be as sincere with pics as it does with your profile. Add pictures that are recent and flattering. Put some effort into what you look like and ask yourself, do I look good here? Would I want to date me if I saw this photo? Also, you’ll notice that you are more likely to choose women who have a variety of five or more pics. Guess what? You’ll get more interest in your profile too if you do the same.

Don’t just add one or two sort-of-okay pics. Be creative and expressive… it will go a long way. Now I don’t need to discuss dick pics, shirtless shots and ones where you’re demonstrating how good you are at catching big fish, do I?
Sooner or later you will start getting mutual likes (or whatever your niche site uses, favorites or stars)

Typically, women will not message you first, so you’ll have to start the ball rolling. And I don’t mean just typing “Hi, how are you?” and hitting send. Just like with your profile and pics, put some effort in.

You’ll have had to read a woman’s profile to know where you have common ground and what you like about her. Put some of those things in your message. Find something that you share (an interest or activity) and write about it. Mentioning things you like about a woman specifically and asking her questions will show that you are actually interested in her and not just thinking about your own needs.

Guys who are new to online dating can find it overwhelming at first, but keeping these pointers in mind will give you an advantage over your competition. Remember, the keys to success are being genuine and writing quality profiles and messages. It’s worked for me.

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