Is it Ever Okay to Send a Follow-Up Message?

It’s a question we’ve all asked ourselves at some point, “Am I a stalker if I send this follow-up message?”

While I’m not a psychiatrist and can’t say if you’re a stalker, I can tell you that there are times when sending a follow-up message will absolutely make you look one.

So should you send that message or not?


If You’ve Been Messaging for a Few Weeks

Let’s say you’ve gotten to the point where you’re messaging back and forth every day. If you don’t hear from her at the expected time, it’s okay to send one message asking if everything’s cool. If she still doesn’t reply after a reasonable amount of time, move on.

If You Forgot to Answer a Question from Her Profile

Some women sprinkle questions throughout their dating profile. It weeds out guys who don’t take the time to read through the entire thing. If you sent your first message, only to realize that you forgot to answer her questions, it’s okay to follow up. Try to do it quickly though, and with a bit of added humor to help you stand out.

If You Forgot to Mention an Important Piece of Info

This might include the address of the place you’re supposed to meet, or your phone number in case she needs to reach you. Keep your message specific. Don’t use it as an excuse to reach out for other reasons, as these ulterior motives will be super obvious.


If She Has Never Once Replied to You

It’s never a good idea to send a message to a woman, asking why she hasn’t replied to your original message. Lots of guys do this, and it’s extremely off putting, not to mention aggressive and creepy. If she hasn’t responded to your first attempt at reaching out, assume she’s not interested.

If She Said She’d Be Busy

If she said she’s got a work week from hell and won’t be able to message, or tells you that she’s busy at the moment, don’t keep trying to contact her. Failure to respect her boundaries, especially early on in your dating relationship, is a huge red flag. Give her space if you want to keep talking to and seeing her.

If She Said She’s Not Interested

You have to believe it when a woman says NO. She’s not playing hard to get. If she said she’s not interested, she means it. Let her go.

The lesson? Messaging under any these three circumstances will make you appear desperate and ignorant of boundaries, just like a stalker. So don’t do it!

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