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How to Move Past an Awkward First Date

Couple Arguing

First date disaster? Chemistry gone awry? Are you sure she’ll never want to hear from you again after everything went wrong?

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If everything went wrong with Ms. Right, you might be too gun shy to call her again. It’s easier to avoid everything than it is to face rejection, but don’t slink off with your tail between your legs so soon.

Chances are, she’s waiting on your call!

If you genuinely liked each other, and the chemistry was right, and she hasn’t told you not to contact her, a little fix-up might be all that’s needed for amazing future hookups.

Women know that things can go wrong and one misstep can screw up the dance, so she might be hoping for a rerun to get things right.

Here are things you should consider if your first date was subpar.

Whose fault was it?

It’s not about blame, but about taking responsibility. You might want to blame your date for whatever went wrong, but it’s a lot harder for you to fix if it was her fault.

When something goes wrong because of you, see it as an opportunity to correct something, and as a circumstance within your control. You can’t control what other people do and how they perceive it or take accountability. But if it’s your problem, you have the potential to correct it. That’s amazing!

Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.

You might be mortified because you made a wrong move. How can you ever show your face again when you aren’t perfect?

Lighten up. Whatever your big flub was, she might not see it in the same way and think you’re a jerk for not calling.

Avoid making assumptions.

We assume all kinds of things based on our previous experiences, expectations, personalities, and beliefs.

You might assume any number of things that are totally false. Once I assumed a lover was vegan because he liked kale smoothies and had moved recently from Portland. I spent three weeks eating tofu when we could have been doing BBQ the whole time.

Guys often assume a woman is thinking something negative about them or that she isn’t interested because she was eager to get out of there. There’s a more common explanation more often than not: she’s nervous. Even the most confident people are nervous on first dates—ESPECIALLY if they like you.

Forgive and forget.

Did she act out or show up late? You still want her, but don’t like waiting around, so that’s it?

If someone is genuinely disrespectful and manipulative, don’t give them your time of day. But be flexible and compassionate. You don’t know what she was juggling in order to get to your date that day. Don’t read too much into small infractions.

Apologize for your blunders, whether or not you expect to see her again. Leave a good trail for your dating reputation and don’t leave women hanging, even if you won’t be pursuing a relationship.

If you did something wrong, own up to it. Don’t go overboard. Let your apology and repair fit the crime. A text or email might suffice. A good rule of thumb would be, whatever you would expect of someone if they had made the same mistake towards you.

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