I don’t know about you guys, but when it comes to casual sex, I’d rather have a regular hookup play pal, than have to log back online every time I want to get laid.
If a friend with benefits or a fuck buddy (or whatever the kids are calling it these days) is what you’re after, then you need to impress a woman the first time you hook up with her.
Some of these suggestions may seem like only things a guy does if he wants something serious, but I disagree because it’s about respect—something that has fallen by the wayside in our hookup culture.
How to Impress Her the First Time
Plan something other than sex. Even if the bottom line is a sexual get together, do something fun before. Take her out for drinks, go to the ballgame, or check out a local band. Just don’t be that guy waiting naked on his bed.
Don’t expect sex. You might have had wicked chemistry through messages and maybe even sexting, but looks and a face-to-face interaction might fall flat in real life. It’s disappointing to be sure, but it’s part of the game.
Make sure your pad is in shape. Don’t assume that you’ll be going back to her place, because some women would rather go to yours. Tidy everywhere, have clean sheets and towels, provide light snacks and drinks, and buy the condoms.
Share and respect boundaries. Remind her that you’re only interested in a casual relationship, and be sure to define what that means for you because we all interpret casual differently. Know what her lines are, and never cross them without consent.
Go down before she does. There seems to be a double standard with some men, wherein they say they don’t go down the first time but expect women to. If you just dive right in, she’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Aim to please. You want to get off, but so do we! And yes, our bodies are more complicated when it comes to orgasms, so asking questions and reading body language will help you help her get there. Check out our tips on the female orgasm that will help you make it happen.
Don’t kick her out or stay all day. When the sun comes up, it can feel awkward. The worst thing you can do is ask her to leave unreasonably early (offer her coffee, or breakfast if it was a really good night!) If you do have plans, offer her cab fare.
If you spent the night at her place, don’t lounge around all day, hoping for more sex because she might have things to do and be too polite to tell you. If she insists you stay, by all means, stay.