I consider it my duty to advise you well in all matters related to getting laid, so it is with great seriousness that I tell you; there’s nothing that can shut down a lady’s willingness to get naked more quickly and effectively than a creepy guy. You might be wondering if you yourself fall into that category, particularly if you’ve had a hard time attracting women. Maybe you’ve had the experience of watching your date shift uncomfortably in her seat doing everything she can to avoid your gaze? I’m sure it’s a mysterious thing to behold, especially if you think you’re the perfect specimen of a man. The trouble is it’s hard for us to see how we come across to others, so how can you tell if you’re creepy? The following checklist might help.
5 Creepy Behaviours to Avoid
1. You’re Meeting Her under False Pretences
Does her profile say that she’s looking for a long-term commitment but you only intend to be her short-term fuck buddy? Or is it the other way around: you’re looking for a wife but she thinks you’re going to have a one night stand? Either way, the dishonesty in your approach is going to emit a strong creep vibe. She’s probably going to notice a certain dissonance in your exchange and it will make her uncomfortable. Even if she can’t quite put her finger on it, she’ll know it’s time to run, so don’t try to trick your date into something unexpected.
2. You’ve already Decided How the Date Will End
It’s always best to let things develop naturally. If you’ve decided that your date is “the one” before you’ve even met, or you’re certain that you’ll go to bed together before the night is over, you’re going to come across as creepy. Any time you bring a steadfast agenda to a date (especially a first date) your fervent certainty is going to create an atmosphere of inflexibility and desperation. I myself have been guilty of this in the past, proving that women can be creepy, too.
3. You’re Ignoring What She’s Saying as You Stare at Her…
Nobody likes to feel objectified. If your date is going to the effort of expressing her-self to you, please—and I can’t stress this enough—listen! The old saying, “My eyes are up here” is clichéd for a reason. So many guys can’t help but gawk at women’s bodies and it really is so creepy. If you must look, try to do so when the conversation has ended. Try telling your date how beautiful she is as she gets up to put on her coat, or before you sit down to dinner, but only say it if you really mean it! False compliments also ring in strongly on the creep-o-meter.
4. You’re Withholding Relevant Information
This can be a difficult creep signal to detect, but it will shut things down the fastest once discovered. If you’re, say… married or harboring some virulent STI, for the love of god, be honest about it! Better yet, try to find a person who is into that. While it’s true that the dating pool might be greatly restricted for someone like you, I can guarantee that there’s someone out there who wants what you’re offering.
5. You Want It too Much
I mentioned desperation earlier, but it bears repeating. Try to stay relaxed throughout your date and don’t worry too much about getting what you want right away. Stay in the moment and just enjoy getting to know this person you find so compelling. When you’re feeling desperate, you’re likely to say and do things that come across as controlling, and to someone you’ve only just met, this will seem creepy for sure.
And lastly, if you checked off any one of these categories, it might be time for you to assess your dating style and intentions. Nobody has to remain a creep. You can take control and be the desirable guy you know you are.
Also read: Dating Confidence vs. Arrogance