Some women feel they have their own hands and that hot sex is oral or penis in vagina, not getting fingered. I understand the reasoning, and to each their own, but I think she’s simply not being touched in the right way.
Did you know that our brains have feedback loops that register when an activity is self-directed? That’s why you can’t tickle yourself, but when someone else does, you react. So even if I can touch myself—and I do, lots—it’s different when you do it.
Hot finger action is part of great foreplay, and it can even be the main course.
Here are some tips and tricks for fingering her to explosion.
Slow your finger roll.
What’s your hurry, boy? Don’t just cop a feel—really touch her.
Take your time getting there. If you’ve been hooking up already, it will surprise her when you slow things down. If it’s your first time together, a slow build up will help make her pleasure certain.
Explore her. Touch her outside of her clothes first, searing through jeans and then thin cotton or lace. Feel how her temperature changes, and things dampen. It’s so exciting to warm her up.
Make her wait for penetration.
It’s not just about taking it slow, it’s about making her wait. Whether it’s your cock or your fingers, the best lovers know that the torture of waiting is what amps up a woman’s nervous system and her psychological desire.
Sometimes in porn or from your buddies, you’ll hear about how “she was begging for it.” If you’ve never seen this in real life, maybe you’ve assumed women don’t beg for it—oh, but we do.
The thing is, it’s wishful thinking that we just fling off our clothes suddenly, begging you to fuck us. It happens instead when you’ve withheld penetration after arousing her until she can’t stand it. That’s when she literally NEEDS to be penetrated for relief. That’s what you’re aiming to do. She’ll never forget it.
Vary your touch.
The in-and-out motion of penetration is ultimately satisfying, and you’ll need to keep it steady to make her come. But before you get to that consistent, focused stroke, enjoy all that time you’re taking by varying your touch.
Brush her softly with your fingertips. Pinch her clit and labia gently. Pull her lips apart. Knead her vulva like bread dough. Pat her or slap her. Rub it. Use the back of your hand and the flat of your palm. Use your knuckles. Vary the intensity of the pressure from barely there to heavy and insistent. Touch her inner thighs, her labia majora, her inner lips, her clitoral hood, her Mons Venus, her urethra, her vagina opening and inside, and her perineum.
Use both hands.
If one hand is good, two hands are better. You can rub her clit while the other is exploring. Spread her apart with one hand, while using the “spare” hand to support her under her ass, so you can pull her towards the motions you’re using.
Use one motion to make her come.
Once you’re at the point where she wants to come, focus your stroke and rhythm and repeat it. Most women need a repetitive stroke in order to orgasm, once she is ready. She might want to add her own hand now while you finger fuck her, to rub her clitoris the way she knows will bring her to orgasm.
Enjoy getting acquainted so intimately with the inside of her pussy with your fingers as she climaxes.
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