I often get the impression that it’s hard to be a guy, especially when it comes to knowing how to approach a woman. If you’re only looking for sex, there are lots of places to start, but what if you want to convey something deeper than that? Guy friends of mine have expressed anxiety about how to show their feelings to a woman, without coming across as weak, or being turned down in favor of a more sexually aggressive approach. The following are some examples from my own life of emotional gestures that I’ve found to be very respectful and effective in conveying a man’s feelings.
1. Show a Genuine Interest in Her Life
When a man I’m dating makes a particular effort to remember the important things that are happening in my life, it gives me a strong sense that he’s in it for more than just the sex. It makes me feel open to him and willing to share more of myself. You don’t have to make it too complicated, just pay attention to the details she shares with you and be sure to follow up about them. It’s a no-brainer really, and probably something you would do automatically if you really do care. Don’t be afraid to show an interest in the deeper aspects of her emotions, or to ask questions that show you have a sensitive side.
2. Plan Small Surprises that Show Her You’ve Been Paying Attention
If in the course of conversation your date mentions that she likes a particular band, or artist, or type of food, it’s a good idea to make a mental note of it and surprise her later on with something related to her interests. It doesn’t have to be an expensive undertaking. In fact, sometimes it’s the smallest things that are the most thoughtful. I once dated a man who noticed that I always drink a particular brand of iced tea, so he brought me a case of it the next time he came to my place. It was a small thing but it made a definite impression on me.
3. Be Honest with Her
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with coming right out and expressing your feelings. As a word of caution I would suggest waiting until an appropriate amount of time has passed since you began dating, as you don’t want to freak her out. Talking about feelings too early in can be a red flag. There are other ways of being honest as well, though, such as giving your true opinion about something important to her. It’s easy to tell when a guy is only saying what he thinks you want to hear. It shows genuine respect and caring when you decide to take a risk and speak the truth.
Tips for a Thoughtful First Date
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