Throughout my years as an online dater, I have noticed an emerging trend. It used to be that the internet was simply a means of making contact with a potential partner, after which the standard methods of courtship and seduction applied. Now it seems that even after making the first connection, we rely heavily on the web to support our relationships and even take the place of thoughtful first date plans. When did it become an accepted practice to woo a lady into the sack via Netflix and a case of beer? When did we all become so lazy that going out into the world to enjoy even a simple meal with the person we intend to fuck become too much of an effort?
Is it that we are so lacking in imagination that we can’t even piece together the image of what a thoughtful first date involves? Is it a lack of confidence, or maybe a pattern that has been burned into us from all the other conveniences the web offers? Whatever the reason, it’s time to start putting the effort back into dating.
Do Your Research
It’s so simple and yet often overlooked in the world of quick online hookups. Have a conversation about your interests and pay careful attention to what your partner is telling you about hers. Do you share a taste in music? Art? Hardcore Furry porn? Even if your intention is to engage in a purely sexual relationship, it will serve you well to show your date that you have been listening and keeping track of the things she likes. The little bit of effort and thoughtfulness you put into planning a first date that she would actually enjoy might even give her the impression that you’re thoughtful and motivated in other areas of your life… like in the bedroom.
Deliver on Your Promises
I once went on a date with this guy who said he wanted to take me on a picnic. When I arrived at our meeting place, I was greeted by a slice of pizza and the invitation to have sex. I was not impressed. Yes, we were meeting with the goal of hooking up, but he made the mistake of assuming it was a done deal, just by virtue of me showing up. Big mistake. If you say you are going to take your date on a picnic, for the love of God, do it! Pack the shit out of that wicker basket, even if you can only afford to fill it with hotdogs and processed cheese slices. The thought is what matters, and the fact that you made an honest attempt to follow through with what you offered.
In my experience, the most memorable dates are ones that include a ton of shared laughter. You don’t have to go out of your way to plan anything too contrived, just be in the moment and enjoy the experience of feeling excited and attracted to someone. If it seems like way too much of an effort or you find yourself bored and wanting to retreat to the comfort of your couch and the internet, end the date and go back to your place alone. Don’t drag your date home with you for some sad, mediocre sex. No Netflix marathon can ever make up for that. We are all people deserving of meaningful and thoughtful connections. Let’s agree to expect more out of our dating/hook-up experiences.
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