I’ve been using dating sites for almost eight years to meet men, and I’ve heard lots of stories from the men I’ve met about the women they’ve met. Talking about your online experiences is a common icebreaker on first dates because everyone has a funny, weird, awkward, or disastrous online dating story to share.
From talking to my girlfriends and dates about the ups and downs of online dating, I’ve discovered that women fall into three categories. I hope this will help those of you who are new to online dating to find what you’re looking for.
3 Kinds of Women on Dating Sites
1. The Woman Who Wants to Have Fun, Adventure, and Casual Sex
This gal isn’t looking for her Romeo. She merely wants to browse profiles as though she’s shopping for groceries. If you look ripe and ready to devour, you may get a first message. This woman will not be afraid to send a message to a man she feels has hookup potential. She may be very straightforward in her message or her profile, so she doesn’t waste her time or yours.
There may be a multitude of reasons why she only wants to date casually—recently out of a long-term relationship or marriage, being focused on her career, or just not ready to settle down. This is who you want to meet if you’re of the same mindset or place in your life.
2. The Woman Who Is Looking for Stability, Security, and Something Serious
This lady wants the Real Deal. She will be reading profiles carefully, looking for red flags and traits that she feels match up with her ideal man. She won’t be as likely to send a first message as someone only looking for casual relationships, preferring for you to contact her first. She’ll also want to have more back-and-forth dialogue before meeting, to check off those boxes in her mind that represent what a long-term partner embodies.
This woman has had enough flings and short-term relationships, and is now ready for something more meaningful. Beware, if this isn’t what you want, because some of these women cast a wide net and are not always forthcoming in their profiles. If you don’t want anything more than a friend with benefits, be clear up front and move on.
3. The Woman Who Likes Online Attention, but Who Will Never Meet
This gal isn’t on a dating site to meet men. She just thinks it’s fun to look through profiles when she’s bored or lonely. She doesn’t send messages and rarely responds to any, but she gets lots. These messages, good or bad, give her the attention she craves when things get slow in her dating world.
Maybe she’s hot and beautiful and doesn’t really need to use a dating site to meet men, or maybe she’s pretty but super shy and new to online dating. When you don’t get a response to a first message (and you really never know the reason) leave it alone, and keep looking. If you’ve been messaging back-and-forth for a few weeks, and she shows no sign of meeting in person, you may want to accept that she’s just online kicking the tires.
These three types apply to men also, and I’ve met all three multiple times. Online dating takes perseverance, a positive attitude, some skill, and a little luck to find who you’re looking for.
Please share your online experiences in the comments below!