I hate mornings. Period. They’re never a time (for me, at least) to feel jolly, let alone horny.
Others will disagree. I’ve had flings who insist mornings are when they’re horniest. It’s always a point of contention. I’m not even going to try to be even-handed on this issue because I wouldn’t know where to start.
No doubt nighttime sex is more popular if only for the simple reason that it’s more practical. Daytime is at-the-office time. We party at night. And there’s no question nighttime offers more advantages:
- Low-light is romantic and sexy.
- The workday is done so there are no distractions.
- We can crash after the orgasm.
- Who doesn’t look just a little hotter at night?
Being horny in the morning is a miracle, as far as I’m concerned. My body can’t wake up. I’m grumpy. And we mustn’t forget the pitfalls of morning sunshine:
What we really look like. No one looks fresh in the morning. No one. And if you wake up and have a hard time reconciling what your hookup looks like, imagine what she’s thinking about you.
That mess on the sheets isn’t so sexy in the morning, is it… Neither one of you were keen to sleep on anything wet before falling asleep — goodness knows you won’t feel any better about it when you wake up.
That funky smell. Breath. Farts. Armpits. Hardly the musky odors that got you calling for booty the night before. Eew.
The sex-hangover. Cumming up to three times the night before (if I’m lucky, and I was on my game, that is) wipes me out. I need to recover. Like Steve Martin once said, “A man is only a guy.”
For the record, this doesn’t apply to all-nighters — as in, staying up shagging all night until sunrise, at which point the fun continues right throughout the day. Very different. These rules of mine only kick in after having fallen asleep. If we’re still going at it, then fuck the sun! All bets are off!
Otherwise — let me wallow in beauty sleep. Grrrrrrrrrrrr…
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